Scared of the future...

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2011

It's more common than you think.

The very fact that you are aware of your fear is a good thing.

Take one step at a time, let every knock be a boost, if life hands you hard times, just keep on going.

I think you'll do just fine and the school that has accepted you thinks so, too.

I wish you every happiness and success. I hope you'll keep coming to allnurses and keep us abreast of your doings.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2011

hi,
i haven't posted much on here. i'm 25 and i am enrolled to start nursing school this august. i am go to school at a community college right now to get my cna. my problem is that i am scared of the future. everyone has some kind of anxiety when embarking on a new journey, which is what you are doing. this is totally normal. for so long i told myself i would never be a nurse. my mom and sister are both nurses. my mom always told me all the time that i should be a nurse. she has been sick a alot of my life and i was always the one who took care of her. i have changed her urostomy bag, emptied it, helped her go to the restroom, helped her bathe, help her walk around... but the thought of taking cna classes and then becoming a nurse terrifies me. everyone tells me that i would be a great nurse.. that i'm calm, patient, kind, compassionate... my boyfriend said that me and being a nurse just fits. he says its what i was made for. and everything seems to be falling into place. it seems as though you have all of the traits and qualities of a good nurse. if you have the raw materials, all you need now is the confidence in yourself to push forward, and get into school.
but i have this huge fear, due to previous bad experiences in my life, that i won't be able to do the job. that for some reason it will be too hard for me and i will mess up. honey, everyone feels this way when starting out in nursing school. it is scary!! your instructors will not let you do anything unsafe. i'm smart. i get good grades, but its like this hindering fear. i have had problems with anxiety in the past and went through a bout of depression and panic attacks. i have been panic attack free and not depressed for over a year and a half. i have grown up so much and felt like i was until i just had to sign up for cna classes. its like i was avoiding doing this until now. now its starting... cna classes then nursing school. here my life changes significantly. i never thought i would get here. i've been having this anxiety attack for a few days now. i can't stop fearing that i won't be able to do it and that i will hate it. that i won't be good enough to have someone under my care. that i won't be able to learn how. you must quell this fear. you feel this way now because you don't have any formal education in nursing. you are seeing such a vast challenge and it is overwhelming you. take it one day at a time, one lesson at a time, one study session at a time. you can't build a house in one day...you must start with a foundation and build upon it.
i know this isn't common, it is very common and i know that some people will think that i shouldn't be a nurse, never let anyone's opinion stand in the way of what you want to accomplish in life. you are giving them power that they don't deserve. and sometimes i don't think i want to. but everyone around me is confused as to why i think that. they all tell me it just fits me, and i would be an awesome nurse. can anyone relate to this? how do i get past this? will i be able to learn it? what do i do? i feel like giving up before i start, but i know if i do that i will regret it for the rest of my life. all of me wants to stay in my office job and just work that the rest of my life, because it is safe... but i know that i would feel worthless because i live up to my full potential. please, i need some help...

the definition of bravery is facing and accepting a challenge that seems overwhelming. courage is having the confidence in yourself to accomplish a daunting task. patience is what you must practice with yourself when learning the material in school. to move out of your paradigm in your office job and embark upon a nursing career will be scary. taking the "risk of flight" by doing so will allow you to grow and thus surprise yourself by the abilities you never knew you had.

you will have difficult times, you will have times of doubt, and you will mess up. this is all part of the learning process. a dear friend of mine once told me during a particularly defeating time in my life, "accept the rain and watch your flower grow."

you will be amazed at what you will accomplish, but you must change your mindset. start out only focused on one class at a time instead of thinking, "omg, i am going to have someone's life in my hands!" that thinking can only rattle you. dispense with taking it all in at once. i made the analogy a while back on this forum about hosting a dinner party. you want to make a great spaghetti dinner, and you want to invite your friends over. you start thinking about your ingredients, plan for going to the market, and then start to get overwhelmed with thoughts like, "what if they don't like it? what if i don't cook the pasta right? what if i burn the sauce? what will they say? will they make fun of me?" you must start with the pasta. this is your foundation-which would be cna classes. then you make the sauce, and add all of the little ingredients like parsley, basil, oregano, garlic-which would be all of the different nursing classes and clinicals. then you top it with parmesean cheese-which would be getting your degree, and you have a fantastic dinner-which would be getting your licensure! see how you have to divide the tasks in order to get to your objective?

take a deep breath. you can do this. we all are supportive of you. come back often and tell us how you are doing. hugs!!!

deftonez188 · Mar 31, 2011

Canesdukegirl,

I love seeing supportive posts like these - we could all take something away from your advice, and that empathy is something we could never have enough of.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Mar 31, 2011

Everyone goes thru this, except for the cocky people who are dangerous to themselves and others. As you learn confidence in your abilities this will subside. However, if the issues are deeper, and affect your private life, you might consider consulting a professional counselor (or other) for your anxiety. Good luck!

mazy · Mar 31, 2011

I used to suffer from pretty severe anxiety attacks and one thing that helped me was to understand that people who suffer from the attacks have a tendency to "catastroph-ize" things. That is, we take an idea that is legitimately worrisome (i.e. what if I fail) and build it up into a belief that "if the thought occurs to me that I will fail, it is destined for me to fail, and it will be the end of the world."

We all worry about failure. The more strongly determined you are, the more you feel like you have to lose, and the more you worry. This obviously means a lot to you. I think you will be fine.

But. If you fail it won't be the end of the world. I don't think you will fail, you sound like you have a lot of knowledge and experience going in, and a strong support system. If something for some reason goes wrong, you sound like the kind of person who will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.

For me it helps to believe that the path that I wind up on is the path that is right for me, whatever that may be. I wanted to go to nursing school, which believe me, was a radical departure from where I was in my life at the time. It was scary, but it felt like the right thing for me. Some very difficult things happened when I was in school, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, but I just held on to my faith that this was what I wanted and I plowed on through.

You will be OK. Have faith in yourself.

Luv2care0907 · Mar 31, 2011

Hi,
I haven't posted much on here. I'm 25 and I am enrolled to start nursing school this August. I am go to school at a community college right now to get my cna. My problem is that I am scared of the future. ...

I have been a nurse for many years and have come back after an 18 year time of staying home to raise my children. There have been more than a few times when I ran across something new that I knew nothing about. The key is to seek the answers to your questions through the seasoned nurses you work with, the Internet, your books and other written resources. You won't be out there alone. Just one example for me was taking care of a child with microcephaly. I didn't know what to expect. So I Googled it and lo and behold, there is a support group for microcephaly. I learned that there are degrees and all sorts of helpful information freely explained by these families. I have looked up drugs on drugs.com. Another excellent resource, believe it or not, is YouTube. I have seen some EXCELLENT how to's there from people performing procedures on real people.

You don't have to do anything you feel you can't do.

Will you make mistakes? Probably. We do the best we can not to, but even with trying to do things perfectly, nurses make mistakes. Many steps and protocols are in place to insure we don't make mistakes. Listen to those people that are teaching you and learn to prioritize. It will save you in that day. Hope that helps.

noone certain · Mar 31, 2011

You should do what is in your heart to do, not what others tell you to do. Maybe you need a little moer time to be certain of what YOU really want.

However, that being said, my history is so similar to yours. Before I found out I got into the nursing program I had a panic attack. First and only panic attack ever, although I have suffered from anxiety since then. The attack was only 8 months before school began and I was a paniced mess all through school. Ikept wishing I had waited longer before starting school. I could barely eat, my throat burned from stomach acid constantly, and I had nightmares all the time. When it was all said and done I was so relieved but yet I still had no confidence I could do the job and not get eaten by anxiety. The oddest thing : once I finally got a job as a nurse I worked about 4 shifts nd then one day I HAD to take charge and it all just clicked. It was almost like a cure for my anxiety. That's not to say I am not still nervous I will hurt someone or that I don't still have issues with anxiety on and of; but putting myself in the position of protecting other people's lives really changed me for the better.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2011

I used to suffer from pretty severe anxiety attacks and one thing that helped me was to understand that people who suffer from the attacks have a tendency to "catastroph-ize" things. That is, we take an idea that is legitimately worrisome (i.e. what if I fail) and build it up into a belief that "if the thought occurs to me that I will fail, it is destined for me to fail, and it will be the end of the world."
We all worry about failure. The more strongly determined you are, the more you feel like you have to lose, and the more you worry. This obviously means a lot to you. I think you will be fine.
But. If you fail it won't be the end of the world. I don't think you will fail, you sound like you have a lot of knowledge and experience going in, and a strong support system. If something for some reason goes wrong, you sound like the kind of person who will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.
For me it helps to believe that the path that I wind up on is the path that is right for me, whatever that may be. I wanted to go to nursing school, which believe me, was a radical departure from where I was in my life at the time. It was scary, but it felt like the right thing for me. Some very difficult things happened when I was in school, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, but I just held on to my faith that this was what I wanted and I plowed on through.
You will be OK. Have faith in yourself.

Mazy, you are so right. People that worry about failure are usually ones that hold themselves to an unrealistic standard of perfection. I used to OBSESS about failing. Guess what happened? If I got a B on an exam I thought it was the end of the world, as I saw a B as a failing grade. It took a lot of introspection to realize that my attitude was setting myself up for failure. So along with studying hard, I started to imagine the A written on my exam paper. Then I imagined myself with my white nursing uniform and cap on at graduation. Then I mentally placed myself in the hospital I wanted to work in, complete with seeing myself wearing the scrubs issued by the hospital while being taken on a tour of my new unit. I suppose this is some form of meditation, and it worked for me. I graduated first in my class and landed the job that I wanted. I know that most of what happened resulted from hard work, but I cannot ignore the power of visualizing what you want. The universe seems to unfold for us when we can picture what we want, concentrate on it, and know without a doubt that we will indeed receive what we seek. The trick is BELIEVING that you will receive it. You must tell yourself that you already have it in the bag. It is a giant shift in thinking, because many of us are hesitant to believe that we will get what we want. We are used to believing that the disappointment will not be as severe if we don't get it. It is very hard to change your thinking into confidence when you are filled with doubt. Once you can master this new thought process, your world changes dramatically.

OP, I have every confidence that you will not only be a great student, but that you will be shocked at how much you EXCEL. I encourage you to rid yourself of the paralyzing anxiety that you feel by taking small steps in your future. Remember...brick by brick until the house is completed!:heartbeat

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Mar 31, 2011

I remember a turning point for me - I was a new grad and very anxious. I worked with two nurses with > 10-15 yr experience. I overheard them talking to one another about "what do you think I should do?" I listened to the conversation (we were all at the nurses' station) and it finally hit me that I will NEVER know it all and the best I can do is the best I can do. I also learned my co-workers are good resources.

pbrain · Mar 31, 2011

I had similar fears. I was afraid that someone's life would hang in the balance and that I would choke. That has since happend and of course I didn't choke. I and my team did everything right but we still lost the patient. If this fear is debilitating I have a couple of tips or things you can try. You can call a local hospital and speak to the Dean of Nursing and ask if you can shadow a nurse for a couple of days. They are usually very helpful in assisting people who are interested in the field. That might qualm you fears a bit and help you to decide. You can also go into other areas of nursing such as radiology, phlebotomy or even medical billing where the pressure of life/death may not be so constant. It has been my experience, and I have seen this in several hospitals/homes. If a "code" happens, you will not be acting alone. People, other nurses, supervisors, CNA's, etc. will be responding to the code with you. Whatever your worst fears are, you will not be acting alone. With all that said, the biggest challenge in nursing today is FINDING A JOB. They are just not out there in Ohio. I would love to know where this nursing shortage is because I haven't seen it. Look at the job market before you decide. I have been a nurse for 3 short years and it is horrible out there to try to find a job.