Saw something that broke my heart

[webblarsk]

I work hopsice. Yesterday one of our patients was actively dying. Let me give you a little background on the patient. 42 years old, Downs Syndrome, lives in institution. Mom and brother visit infrequently. Ok so when I got there yesterday this little guy was obviously not long for this world. His mom and brother came after several phone calls. After I assessed him I went over to his mom and in a low voice I said. Your son isn't doing well. I went through the signs of impending death, verbalized he was peaceful and wasn't suffering. And then I said. "He can still here you, so if you want go over and speak to him." She then said to me. "Oh, I have never spoke to him. I don't think he understands me" :uhoh21: Broke my heart. How can you not speak to this little guy. He had the sweetest face. He may not understand you, but what about a familar, kind voice? A living human being not spoke to by his mother. Then I tried to see her side. I know I have never dealt with a mentally ill child so maybe this was her defense mechanism. But I can't see myself not talking to my child. I mean, as soon as my children were born I was talking to them. Newborns that maybe couldn't understand the words coming from my mouth, but could sense the love. Am I being unreasonable? Sorry I am rambling but this has really bothered me.

[RedSox33RN]

That is so tragic and heartbreaking - on so many levels. That the mother never got the help she obviously needed, even in the later years, to come to know her son. And that he never got to know her. It's so sad to think that both will never know what they missed out on.

It's comforting to know he had such a nice caregiver in you though, someone who truly cared.