Round of applause for nurses who dont tolerate negative behavior

[jbp0529]

Just wanted to vent a little, I apologize ahead of time...

I recently moved to a smaller, private hospital in one of their ICU's, from a larger teaching hospital. I am appalled how a handful of the docs at this new place treat the nurses. They frequently throw tantrums, curse, whine, expect us to clean up their messes, and/or simply dont want to be bothered with anything. Sound familiar? I know, its a tale as old as time, and the subject of many rants on many posts here, and a problem in many places. However, I'm just having one of those days where I need to vent about it & share some info.

When someone at my facility tries to stand up for themself, the issue is either quietly swept under the rug by management, or the nurse is thrown under the bus and blamed. And this is supposed to be a Magnet facility! To make things worse, instead of nursing having a united front against such behaviors, there are a few influential nurses who have worked there for 15-30 some odd years (my hospital being the only place they have ever worked, in some cases), who are buddy-buddy with these docs, kiss their butts, and take their side in these matters. It's such a disgrace. Whenever I hear one of these nurses say, "well, yea, he/she hung up on you and swore at you, but if it wasnt for Dr So-and-So, we'd have less patients, the hospital would have less $$," and blah blah blah...

...Well that may or may not be true, but nevertheless, it's a cop-out. Nobody should be a doormat to someone else. That certainly can be said of any relationship in life, be it professional or personal.

Anyway, sorry for the long and slightly poisonous post, but my ultimate (and hopefully positive) point is: from one professional nurse to another...thank you to all who take wonderful care of your patients, despite sometimes difficult odds. Thank you for your hard work, on sometimes little rest. Thank you to those who take a stand, who are an advocate to your patients, as well as fellow nurses, and are not always assimilated into the collective.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

you'll get exactly as much crap as you put up with. if you don't put up with any, you won't get any -- unless you run into someone new who is determined to distribute crap -- until he figures out that you won't take it. if you cry, refuse to stand up for yourself, or sit around complaining about how awful dr. so-and-so is rather than deal with his behavior, you'll continue to suffer abuse. grow a spine, stand up for yourself and don't take the abuse.

there is a difference, however, between standing up for yourself and being rude, obnoxious or aggressive.

[JoMoSoCal]

fyi: if a doctor (or anyone else for the matter), grabs you in a fit of rage, you have every legal right to physically assault that person right back to get him/her to back off. so, sock, punch, grab and twist the crotch, do whatever you have to do to stand your ground.

[yetanotheramanda]

you'll get exactly as much crap as you put up with. if you don't put up with any, you won't get any -- unless you run into someone new who is determined to distribute crap -- until he figures out that you won't take it. if you cry, refuse to stand up for yourself, or sit around complaining about how awful dr. so-and-so is rather than deal with his behavior, you'll continue to suffer abuse. grow a spine, stand up for yourself and don't take the abuse.

there is a difference, however, between standing up for yourself and being rude, obnoxious or aggressive.

this is great advice! the bad part is that in my everyday life i can't seem to find a balance between being a weakling and being an obnoxious, aggressive jerk. i need to figure it out quickly because i am about to start a job in neurotrauma icu where the docs are notoriously "mean!"

help!

[deleteaccount]

Do you want to be " right" or employed? let it roll off your back. Why take on the system in your position. If you want to effect change you can always become someone in management and cause change at that level. Don't let their attitudes affect your way of being a nurse.

[tuesday4]

I would go straight to the DON and Administrator, negative behavior is NOT acceptable in the workplace from doctors or nurses. Administration would have to address this issue if it is presented to them. Do not be afraid, the administration which includes the DON would have to put into place an action plan possibly including inservices about consequences of negative behaviors in the workplace. It is already in all HR manuels and was probably presented during orientation (that includes doctors too). I for one will not accept inapproiate behaviors, no one should have to.

:prdnrs:

[country mom]

We just have a culture of decency like one should be able to expect anywhere.

You hit the proverbial nail on the head there. It's a matter of workplace culture. A certain level of behavior is expected, encouraged and modeled. And it should be expected anywhere, and unfortunately it is not. To be fair, this type of negative behavior can be witnessed in almost any position, not just physicians. It's just that the higher up on the ladder a person is, the more people they hurt.

Remember the old adage, "Everything I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten"? Maybe it was a book, I don't remember. But isn't it true? Play nice with others, clean up your messes, say "please" and "thank you". When you do wrong, say you're sorry.

[AOx1]

We play a role in how we are treated in some cases. Hate to say it, but some people, in any profession, are angry and abusive and looking to take it out on anyone who will let them. I don't let them.

If someone curses at me, I hang up or walk away. If they pursue it, I let them know I am contacting them regarding a professional matter regarding their patient, and expect to be treated AS a professional, and give them the number they can call when they are able to behave professionally. I am not a punching bag, verbal or otherwise. I will not clean your messes. Your mother should have taught you that. If you throw the chart or supplies, that is where they will stay. If you are disruptive in the unit, I will call security until you can conduct yourself in a professional manner. I also report to risk management and the medical director any disruptive behavior.

The climate will never change overall until every nurse that is treated poorly stands up and refuses to tolerate it. I don't rant, yell, or curse back. I am a professional and will behave accordingly, even if those I encounter are unable to do so. We do have the power to change things, but it isn't found in holding to the status quo. I have noticed I am never treated in this manner anymore. When I was a new nurse, it took some of the physicians a bit to learn that this type of behavior would not "bait" me to act badly, cower, or cry. All the physicians I work with now interact in a professional capacity with me.

I must say I pity anyone who behaves in such a manner. They must have a very small life in order to need this to boost their self-esteem by being rude to others. It's interesting to note that a huge majority of the ones who initially tried to act like jerks when I was a new nurse are divorced, often several times. I don't think you can truly compartmentalize this type of behavior. Someone with anger issues in the workplace likely exhibits them elsewhere also. I guess the pity comes in because it's hard not to see them as the fit-throwing, badly behaved, overgrown children that they sometimes mimic. Kinda makes you want to pat them on the head and put them in a "time out" corner. But whatever you do, don't put up with it. Just take the necessary steps, and continue to act in a professional capacity.