RN moms - I need help!

BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Dec 8, 2009

Your schedule sucks!! Is there a way you could get a more consistent schedule,....even if it's all nights. I've worked nights for about 14 years now and my kids adapted,...they knew Mom had to sleep and we made the best of it. My time off is very valuable and we make it work.

CMille14 · Dec 8, 2009

You didn't state the age of your children, but, in my experience, children of almost any age are able to adapt to schedule changes as long as you remain consistent in your expectations of them.

Don't try to compensate for having to spend less time with them by allowing behavior that you don't normally allow.

Kids can understand that work requirements don't mean they are a lesser priority...stick to your expectations and thoroughly enjoy the time you do have with them.

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

Do you work 12 h shifts? I have found that working nights fits best for my situation. I get home in time to take my daughter to school and wake up when she gets home. I can help with home work, eat dinner with her and much more. If I worked days, it would almost be her bed time by the time I got home from work. She sure wouldn't feel like doing homework at 8-8:30 pm.

I feel blessed to have this type of work schedule to only have to work 3 days a week. If I worked 8-5 mon-fri, then I think I would be much more stressed.

Have you considered being a school nurse? In my area, an RN must have a BSN for that. That would probably be idea in your situation, just not as much pay as hospital work.

I'm sorry you're having a time of it, but try not to feel so stressed. Count your blessings that you have a nice job to provide for you family and try to work things out. Just try to remain positive for your childrens sake. It will take some time to adjust, but you will, just be patient, you will adjust and so will your kids.

Take care!!

GrumpyRN63, ADN, RN · Dec 8, 2009

I have been thru all types of schedules, nites when the first one was little allowed me to be there after school, dinner, bedtime routine etc. The second one came and things got more complicated. My husband began to travel at a moment's notice ( not good with ever-changing schedule). I then began a "normal" job at the hospital based clinic. Sounded great, M-R 8:30 -4, reality, not seeing them in the am and getting home 6 or 6:30. The kids hated it since I wasn't there after school although 3 day weekends were nice. I lasted about a year. Went perdiem, ( # 3 came along) but eventually (dh is self-employed) needed a job with benies for health insur. Went to 2 12's (PM's). I thought it would be great, kids hated it, I left @ 6pm and came home after they left for school. Even though it was only 2x's/wk they felt they never saw me, plus stress of husband never around, still always changing schedule. Decided one of us needed a fixed (normal?) schedule. Went to baylor weekend for 2 yrs now. work every weekend, 10 hrs home hospice. Get the full benies, PTO, etc. Kids are happy. I get to sleep at night, am home m-f for the sick days, field trips, 1/2 days, school delays and early dismissals, vaca days/weeks, entire summer etc. If they need to get somewhere, it's easier to arrange rides on the weekend . I would prefer not to work every weekend, but right now the positives outway the negatives. When I had the 'normal schedule' it was very stressful, home, 2nd shift would begin until exhausted, rinse and repeat next day. Things work well for me now, with this schedule. What works for me, may not work for you, and what works now, may not work in a year or two. Sometimes you have to change/adjust as your life evolves.

Student2Registered · Dec 8, 2009

Thanks! My kids are 2 and 4, really at that age that structure, routine, and consistency matters. I actually do feel 12 hour nights are working better for our family. I just can't seem to get a groove never knowing what days I will have off and knowing that I have to flip between AMs and PMs.