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Regret, depression

Career   (351 Views 5 Comments)
by basenjilove808 basenjilove808 (Member)

985 Visitors; 23 Posts

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Hello all, 

I've been a nurse for two years and I have despised every minute of it since week three in orientation. The patient-nurse ratios, the families, the *** doctors that call you out in front of everyone at the nurses station, the task list, the never-ending demands and stress, etc. I am an introvert with a major anxiety disorder and this job is killing me. Everyday at work is a battlefield for me. I find myself with fmla calling in all the time bc I still can't sleep for work due to debilitating anxiety- heart racing. Fishing my way through the demands of patients, families, and a multidisciplinary team. I feel like a failure. I worked so hard to get where I'm at and now I would do anything for a different job or another career. I've applied to cardiac cath lab, endo, and cardiac ICU with no hits. I've been stuck at a bedside (tele) position for two years and I'm starting to lose my mind. Why is bedside so demanding? Why are patient-nurse ratios so high? Why is the nursing field like this? IDK what else to say I guess I'm venting. Just at my wits end again with this field. 

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TriciaJ has 35 years experience as a RN and works as a Retired.

1,090 Likes; 5 Followers; 30,731 Visitors; 2,770 Posts

I'm so sorry you're having this experience.  I wish I had a good answer for you.  Hospital nursing has become absolutely brutal.

Right now, I'm concerned for your health.  Even with FMLA and being able to call in - those are short-term solutions.  I think if you were able to find another nursing job at the moment, it would not be the relief you're hoping for.  Is there some way you can take a break from nursing altogether?  I don't know what your financial situation is and if you even have that option.

Meanwhile, you need to talk with your doctor and you need to find some sort of counseling.  Try your county public health or mental health department.  Is your nurse manager someone you could level with about how you're struggling?  Some managers can be incredibly helpful and supportive; others you don't want to say anything to.

I hope you can find some comfort and support where you are.  Good luck.

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4 Visitors; 2 Posts

I would suggest getting on an anti-anxiety medication to help you relax and sleep. Being well-rested will help you to better handle your job stress and make decisions about your nursing future. You can always quit the med when things are more settled. 

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4 Likes; 3,598 Visitors; 129 Posts

I've only worked in a hospital for three months and I'm already searching for a non-hospital job. Workload is much too high for me, especially since we are often short on nurse aides. I wish that I had your two years of experience because I see postings for clinic jobs and outpatient surgery jobs that require one to two years of acute care experience. Do you see these kinds of job postings in your area? You may have enough experience to get out of the hospital and into a more reasonable job. 

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not.done.yet has 8 years experience as a MSN, RN and works as a Professional Development Specialist.

275 Likes; 4 Followers; 42,872 Visitors; 5,165 Posts

1. See a doc about your anxiety.

2. Get out of bedside.

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