Really sick of backstabbing co-workers!!

[MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN]

I know things like this are posted all the time but I have to vent somewhere.

I am so upset. Just a background...

I work in corrections. I really enjoy it. I am not confrontational person so I put up with a lot. I am laid back and take things in stride. Well, everyone has their own way of doing things. We have to do "sick call" which is see inmates that sign up. We triage them to determine whether they need to see the doctor or not. We have nursing protocol's set up to address different problems. We also have treatments to do. (Bp's, dressing changes)

Well, some nurses like to work sick call and tx's together and some don't. Well it doesn't matter to me so I leave it up to the nurse I am working with. Their is one nurse that I am friends with outside of work (first mistake, but we have been friends for about a year)... she is very outspoken and very gruff. Sometimes she goes against the decisions I make or makes alternative suggestions. Anyway... she told my boss that I am "co-dependent" on her. I guess I am too sensitive but that just ticks me off. We usually work weekends together and she told the boss that she wanted to switch weekends because of this. Ummm... why couldn't she tell me this? I would be more than happy to work independently from her, or anyone for that matter. We go out to do sick call together. I think it makes the day go by better. When its really busy we do go our separate ways to get things done.

She is nice to my face and acts like nothing is wrong. I guess the world is full of them.

No real point to my post... I just wish we could work together. My thoughts are definitely in the minority on this though (at my job):argue:

[Southern Fried RN]

Sorry to hear that your "friend" is acting like that. There is always someone in a job that acts that way. I actually prefer someone to be nasty to my face, that way I know where I stand! People that are nice to your face are even worse IMO because they will trap you into feeling comfortable....then find something to use against you.

I have been in similar situations where I was too chummy with people at work and it came back to bite me in the hiney. Now I purposefully do not go to after work drinking get-togethers, parties, etc. I will go to lunch or get coffee while we are at work, but I try to watch who I hang around with. And I definitely don't give out too much personal info or discuss my opinions of management, policy, co-workers, etc. The downside is that some people consider me "snobby."

It is hard not to get too friendly at work. When you are working with fun people the shift does go much better. It's OK to be friendly but always remember to watch out for yourself. Lots of backstabbers out there unfortunately.

[MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN]

Sorry to hear that your "friend" is acting like that. There is always someone in a job that acts that way. I actually prefer someone to be nasty to my face, that way I know where I stand! People that are nice to your face are even worse IMO because they will trap you into feeling comfortable....then find something to use against you.

I have been in similar situations where I was too chummy with people at work and it came back to bite me in the hiney. Now I purposefully do not go to after work drinking get-togethers, parties, etc. I will go to lunch or get coffee while we are at work, but I try to watch who I hang around with. And I definitely don't give out too much personal info or discuss my opinions of management, policy, co-workers, etc. The downside is that some people consider me "snobby."

It is hard not to get too friendly at work. When you are working with fun people the shift does go much better. It's OK to be friendly but always remember to watch out for yourself. Lots of backstabbers out there unfortunately.

You are so right. I am also considered to be "anal and snobby." I just do my job... thats all.

I am like you. I want people to tell me if they have a problem with me or what I do. I take constructive criticism well. This is yet another learning experience. We worked together yesterday and she was just being as nice as she could be. I am so over it. All I say is "whatever." Live and learn. (although it does bother me still. I need to stop trying to please everyone)

[debi49]

Is it worth confronting her? Not to salvage the friendship...she has shown her colors, but to clear the air. Say something like " I was surprised to hear you told the bosses this that and the other. I wish you would have talked to me about this" yourself. Then, let her know you will do your own sick call .....if she turns it back on you, reminder her, SHE is the one who went to the bosses. Then come to work, be pleasent and cordial, but thats it.

Several years ago, a co-worker who was a good friend, was giving me the cold shoulder. I could not figure out my offense. I asked her what I had done to upset her and she told me "so and so said you were saying this and that about me ".

Well I had said NO SUCH THING....so and so was a trouble maker trying to stir the pot.

So in confronting your friend, it gives her the oportunity to explain herself. THings may not be as they seem.

[MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN]

Is it worth confronting her? Not to salvage the friendship...she has shown her colors, but to clear the air. Say something like " I was surprised to hear you told the bosses this that and the other. I wish you would have talked to me about this" yourself. Then, let her know you will do your own sick call .....if she turns it back on you, reminder her, SHE is the one who went to the bosses. Then come to work, be pleasent and cordial, but thats it.

Several years ago, a co-worker who was a good friend, was giving me the cold shoulder. I could not figure out my offense. I asked her what I had done to upset her and she told me "so and so said you were saying this and that about me ".

Well I had said NO SUCH THING....so and so was a trouble maker trying to stir the pot.

So in confronting your friend, it gives her the oportunity to explain herself. THings may not be as they seem.

You are right. I need to confront her and it may not be as bad as it seems. I am SO not confrontational and have always been that way. I just get really mad and calm down then let it go. I won't forget though. I don't really hold grudges... I just don't speak my mind. I just don't want to start anything else with the others. KWIM?

I can tell you what I will do... I am going to do what I want and not try to please anyone. I will do what I am assigned, take care of my inmates and keep to myself. The gossip gets so bad in there (not just talking about ME but some of the nurses talk about everyone) I don't even want to go in... but the way I see it is, she doesn't pay my bills and she doesn't sign my paycheck. Its all getting old and boring

It just seems like the people who try to make other people miserable HAVE to be miserable themselves. She is always quick to point out someones faults.

Ugh.

[steelmgnoliarn]

i'm on your side. go ahead and confront her, but know that you can never trust her again. it really sucks. the last er i worked at was great. we all got along and everyone had the other's back. then someone got mad or jealous or something and started tattling about the stupidest things. soon our whole team got broke up and most of us left there. now after most of us are gone i hear that she is leaving because noone wants to have anything to do with her or will help her when she has a bad pt. it really sucks that she messed up our team and now she off to somewhere else to mess up theirs. why couldn't she have just quit if she didn't like it to start with?:angryfire

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Poke her in the left eye with your index finger. That'll learn her.

[steelmgnoliarn]

poke her in the left eye with your index finger. that'll learn her.

that was priceless!!!! if i ever see her again i think i will take that eye out with my perfectly manicured index finger!!! lmao!!!!!!

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Or just act like Ouiser Boudreaux, that's sure to settle her down.