Really disappointed in myself

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I am so disappointed in myself. After graduating nursing school I received my temporary license and started looking for a job. NOTHING!! So I thought "Ok maybe they want me to have my REAL license" Ok so I passed Nclex..got my RN license and went on 6 interviews. After numerous "Thank you for your interest in this job but unfortunately..." emails, i finally landed a job. 7p-7a OF course lol because thats what I hear they mainly give new nurses. Ok so I go to work all happy and ecstatic that Ive found a job and I was so eager to learn..thats when all the bs started. Firstly, overnight shifts dont work well for me. Im tired on all of my off days and all I do is sleep. Im always so cranky. I have only been in orientation for 4 weeks and I never (I mean never) see my 1 year old baby and my husband. My husband tries to be so supportive but I know him very well. He hates that I work overnight. Secondly, the orientation SUCKS. I feel like Im my preceptors assistant rather than training to be on my own. All I hear is "GET me this and GET me that". The job is Rehab and all I do is lift, tuck, and pull. My poor back is horrible. I just dont know what to do. People tell me to try to stick around and see if anything gets better but im not so sure. Everything there is so unorganized. People are always late (45 minutes or more) to take report.The manager says they are "looking" into ways to stop that. After working all d*** night, I want to go home. Thepatient ratio is sometimes 1:12 (seriously) . I cry on my way to work and I cry on my way back. Im so disappointed in myself because I busted my a** in school so that i could make a better life for my family and I just feel so let down. I know every job has its faults but Im thinking if I feel like this 4 weeks in..Im scared to think how I would be 4 months or years from now. I need advice, should I try to see if I can switch to days? Should I stay a couple of months and try to find something new? I know for certain that rehab is not for me, so maybe I should look into another area. I just refuse to let a job get me so stressed that Im cranky all the time. I have a kid thats watching me closely and I refuse to be anything less than the best mom I can be. IDK, Im crying as I type this. HELP! I know some people say it takes 6 months to a year to adjust, but I HIGHLY DOUBT i will be there that long.

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hi! first of all i was so sad, i was reading your experience because i am a mom too,,and i know how you really felt about it for your child,Please, i wanna to be honest to you, you are so LUCKY to have a job and get an experience as a time goes by,,Be more a little patience to your job and you doin that for your FAMILY's future and for yourself too,, and when times come you will get a good job and better oppurtunity as an RN and this is only just the beginning you are doin Great! and God, has Plans for you dont be sad be happy and always Thankful Goodluck to you!

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hi..thanks for replying. I guess I thought that nursing was different. I was very naive. Some nurses are mean as heck. I really hate to say it but I am just using this job for experience. I mean Im taking the job seriously (especially the patients) but I wouldnt dare work here long term.

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Specializes in LTC, Wounds, Med/Surg, Tele, Triage.

Rehab experience will look great on a resume in the future! Use this as a learning oppurtnity. I know that sounds so cliche...but that's the best you can do. Try to find some healthy meditation techniques in your spare time...lol... JUST KIDDING!!! Hopefully the compensation is worth it. Hang in there...you're a baby nurse...you're supposed to feel overwhelmed. Watch out for the new grad who is over confident and not stressed about anything ;)

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Four weeks in sounds about right for everything you are feeling. Does your place sound like a great place to work? Nope. Are you going to easily find something better with 4 weeks of experience? Nope. Your honeymoon is over. That doesn't mean that everything is going to suck from here on out.

If you are still precepting at four weeks and aren't handling your own patient load, your place of employment is at least trying to look out for your best interests. You have to as well by letting your preceptor know what you think you can handle. See if you can take one patient. Ask to be more hands on. Feedback goes both directions. You are both adults. You don't have to simply do what you are told. You do, however, have to start a conversation that is productive for you both.

The fatigue? Yep, right on time. Four weeks is NOT enough time to have adjusted to night shift. You need 3-6 months. And yes, that does sound like forever. If you have the option of going to days, then seek that option out. If you don't, then seek out solutions for making your ability to rest and your ability to have a good quality of life a priority.

Your mommy guilt is misplaced. Your spouse guilt is misplaced. Your child is not suffering from having more time with Dad. YOU might be. Your child is not. This isn't forever and he/she won't even remember it. Your spouse is probably not enjoying you working nights, you are right. He is, however, probably enjoying the money you are making and the security you are providing your family unit.

This is a tough transition. I hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like your place of employment is horrible. Tough, yes. Not ideal, certainly. But not the "run for the hills" scenarios we read about here at times. Four weeks is not enough time to have realized anything except that this job is not all the happy feel good stuff we all assumed during nursing school and that working nights is super hard and that family life is different now and that everything has changed and not all of it for the better.

Stick it out. I promise, somewhere around 8 months in, you will suddenly realize you are processing things differently, acting more proactively and feeling more at home in your new life. I wish you well. Give yourself time to adjust.

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Thanks everyone for your comments. But, no one knows whats best for me and my family right now, but me. I talked to my DON and she has no problems letting me work days! I will at least try that!! I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. I loved the day shift when I began orientation and there are tons pf procedures i can actually assist with as well as learn. I have never been the type to "just settle". If i dont like something im gonna do everything i can to fix it. I figure who wants a nurse caring for them that dont want to be on that shift and overly tired and stressed. Thats not fair to them or their family. im a firm believer thats where most errors happen. Thanks guys, i will def keep you posted

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Sweetie, of course nobody knows what is right for you and your family but you. You came here looking for opinions and got them. I hope days works better for you. Good luck!

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Thanks everyone. I think one of the major things that affected me was the amount of complaining that goes on. I know everyone has their opinion..but I have tons of nurses coming to me saying "Honey, if I were you, I would run. This is not a good place to work". Then I question if thats the case, why are they still there? LOL its crazy. I'm not gonna let this job defeat me. I will give it my absolute best!! Thanks guys,I love this site

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Specializes in ED, trauma.
Thanks everyone. I think one of the major things that affected me was the amount of complaining that goes on. I know everyone has their opinion..but I have tons of nurses coming to me saying "Honey, if I were you, I would run. This is not a good place to work". Then I question if thats the case, why are they still there? LOL its crazy. I'm not gonna let this job defeat me. I will give it my absolute best!! Thanks guys,I love this site

Not as nurse, but when I was working as a PCT/CNA/UAP I heard the same things. I found out it was because the existing staff was picking up my hours and getting paid overtime, and enjoyed the extra money, more than having an extra set of hands to pick up the workload.

Just a thought.

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CP2013, now that you mention, that may be the case here. Wow I didnt think about that! Good point.

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I am a new nurse and I havent started my new job yet, but if I didnt like it I would look for somewhere else to go. If you dont like rehab, you should look for a position that you want. It's not a bad idea to have a plan B. If you're not looking you will never find what you're looking for. And you shouldnt settle you worked hard in school, I felt the same way. I didnt want to settle and I didnt and I am on the unit I wanted to be on. it took a little longer than I wouldve liked but it happened.

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Nurseladybug12, thank you so much for replying. Thats exactly what I was trying to say. Ive worked so hard but yet it feels like Im settling and I know that i dont like the place and never will. Im trying the day shift just to pacify myself so that I can get some experience. The place is highly unorganized and whenever I go for help, no one knows on the night shift. I really want to do labor and delivery because I love L&D but again you have to have a certain amount of experience. I am also thinking about looking into clinic work. I just have no idea as to when I should start looking.

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