Ready to quit

roughmatch · Jun 4, 2013

You are NOT that bad, and YES, the first year is taking its toll. I started in August 2012 and was off of orientation in October. I started feeling a little more comfortable about 2 months ago; however, I still have days when I wonder what in the world I was thinking to get into nursing. About the other nurses and the sharp-tongued devils .... kill them with kindness. That is what I do. It makes me feel better and makes them look and feel worse. People notice a good attitude; some of the rascals will soften and become your allies.

Meeh619 · Jun 4, 2013

Don't let them get to you, it's jealousy!! You prolly make them look bad that's all. I worked with ppl like this. Those other ones that are telling you because they are your friends, that's bs. They just want it to go back & forth. Don't tell them anything or tell them you don't want to hear it, you don't care what they think. Sometimes I catch myself being tooo nice & ppl still dislike me or try to bring me down. I figure speak up and stand up for yourself in a direct way but not rude. "Hey you missed something" "oh thanks for telling me, don't you hate those days" when they miss something, because they will point it out. That way they see your paying attention too. But don't let them break you that's what they want. Brush it off & like you said you were a good medic, nothing has changed but these bad attitude ppl. So don't let them bring you down. Speak up nicely but direct, they'll hate your confidence but they hate you anyway so who cares. Some ppl will always be haters.

elprup, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2013

Sigh, Sadly, this seems to be normal. Try to hang on, because if you leave it will be even harder to explain why you left.

Flatlander · Jun 10, 2013

Dear armym6,

Some of the hardest changes have to take place inside of ourselves. In this situation, you are the one who has to build your own confidence. Only you can figure out how to walk this tightrope, maintaining your balance between resenting your coworkers for their negativity toward you, recognizing your own knowledge and experience deficits, including lack of confidence, and finding a way not to fall into despair. (Which seems to be where you are now.)

You might treat yourself as you would imagine being treated by the best, most understanding and nurturing mentor/teacher. What would that person say to you when you've made a mistake? What words of encouragement would they give you? What would they suggest you do when you're so down you're ready to give up? What would they tell you to get busy at when your strength returned? (Some daily review? A talk with a real-life mentor or best friend, to vent on a regular basis? A meeting with your supervisor for a performance review and reality check? Some stress-relief activities? Some pampering and self-care?) Maybe you could carry a little token of some kind in your pocket to remind you of the positives you are achieving everyday. Or a little card with a few written reminders of what that mentor who believes in you would say (your "pocket mentor"?)

If the trash talk against you is really wide-spread, I think it's time for you to talk to your supervisor (the one who has the power to keep you employed or not). Perhaps explain that you are picking up dissatisfaction among the staff regarding your performance. Ask if this has come to her attention and if she thinks you are not where you ought to be in terms of job performance. Being proactive could potentially stave off an even worse situation. I've found that supervisors do poll other staff for feedback on employees' progress.

We can't change or avoid all the mean people, but we can counteract their effects and not let them win.

When I stop to ask myself what I would do in a situation, I see that I have more wisdom than I initially think I do. You have your own wisdom and power. Put it to use. Show them you are worthy of respect, they can't break you, and you are going to succeed.

Good luck!

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Jun 10, 2013

It does take at least a year to get your feet underneath you in a new position. I understand that as a member of the service you can't just up and quit this job, so you have to make the best of it. You aren't dumb, you're new and you are in a new role. Sometimes people think that being an EMT or corpsman is a step on the ladder and LPN is next. It's not, it's a different ladder entirely. So cut yourself some slack in that regard and focus on being the best LPN you can be.

So. If you really want to make your detractors crazy, smile sweetly at them and tell them, "You may be right," and go about your business. Learn what you can from them, even if they aren't very good teachers (there's always the possibility of a kernel of truth in there somewhere), and let the rest roll off your back. This attitude will make them nuts and they will find someone else to pick on, like the next new person. Whom you will be in a position to support because of your experience...and culture change comes slowly, but it does come. Hang in.