Random Acts of Lunacy

Nurses Humor


After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was just checking


When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.


97 Posts

Specializes in oncology.

:chuckle Lol Very cute Fran. So glad to have you back.

live4today, RN

5,099 Posts

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Hi Franny! :icon_hug:


1,060 Posts

Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

Great, thanks a LOT!!!!! Now I can't sleep d/t prolonged laughing fits!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


303 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics/Alzheimer's.

The last one really is funny. LOL. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


381 Posts

I love the immaculate conception one. I always enjoy the women that say I didn't know i was pregnant as she was coming into deliver!!


80 Posts

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :chuckle :chuckle :) :chuckle :rotfl: I LOVE IT!!! Esp the one about the taxi

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I

1 Article; 3,619 Posts

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Great, thanks a LOT!!!!! Now I can't sleep d/t prolonged laughing fits!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :D
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