"Starving to death"

[Vtachy1]

I think I made a daughter of a patient we have for "sepsis" mad yesterday. How do you eloquently explain to them that it is not starving them to death?

I think I said that it is not starving them to death like it would be if they were asking for food and you did not give it to them.

Its natural and its the body's way of telling us that "they cannot process the food anymore".

Like a backpacker climbing Mt Everest who takes off his backpack for that final last bit so that he can make it up that hill.

I also told her that if we put a tube feeding, many times patients get diarrhea, edema, congestive heart failure, etc.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

I've been wanting to write my own at some point. Maybe I'm full of it but I have a good way of putting things sometimes. My eyes get all soft looking and my voice all soothing and philosophical. LOL Definitely full of it but yeah I think I need to type something up.

[kiche123]

It sounds like you did fine. These are hard questions for hospice professionals and the family asking are occasionally not wanting to hear what we must tell them.

If your agency does not have printed material that can support your verbal explanation you might suggest that. Having written materials gives each of the disciplines a "common thread" of information to which we add our own individual expertise.

Some of these situations get "easier" as you encounter them over and over again in hospice.

Good luck.[/quote

This is what helped my family when my Dad died of cancer. Mind you, we founf out he had cancer and he died 8 days later. We reread the material after he passed away and everything made more sense. We had some questions answered at that point. When my FIL was diagnosed as terminal, I went to our local hospice and got the same book for my husband and his siblings to read. It really helpe prepare them on what to expect. I support those materials 100 percent.]

[tewdles, RN]

One thing that is helpful sometimes is to ask the family if they have ever had a loved pet die of "natural causes".

If they have, they are often aware of the social withdrawal and disinterest in food that occurs during the last days. Encouraging them to see us as part of the "animal kingdom" especially as it applies to birth and death can sometimes help them to put the refusal of food into a different perspective and view it more as part of the "normal" process rather than something that is endured.