"Bad" Evaluation..I'm So Frustrated and ready to quit!!

[RNforLongTime]

I transferred to my hospital's ICU/CCU at the end of February. Anytime a nurse transfers departments, they evaluate you at 45 and 90 days after you started the new job. I've been an RN for 5 years with 4 years of med-surg experience. I started off my orientation on day shift(7a-7p) for 6 weeks. My 45 days were up on April 12th. I had my eval and it was good! They pointed out a few minor things that I need to work on.

April 16th, I went to night shift(7p-7a) for 3 weeks of orientation. Night shift has no official preceptor so I had two different Senior RN's precept me while on nights. Before I started my night shift orientation, my head nurse "warned" me that the night shift crew can be difficult at times but that I needed to "earn my stripes" so to speak. My head nurse has been on medical leave since April 1st and won't be back until the middle of July/beginning of August. Well, almost all of the night shift crew is female. There is one male RN in my ICU and he is the Assistant Head nurse on night shift. Excellent critical care RN. I figured that I would have the most difficulties with him. WRONG!!!

One night, while on orientation, I ws assigned to care for a pt with DKA who had been in the ICU for a few days and should have been transferred to the floor that day but wasn't. I got out of report at 7:15pm and looked at the pt with the off going RN from day shift. After the day shift RN left, I stayed in the room to assess her and get vitals, etc. I was in the room for 10-15 minutes. Did a full assessment etc. She was my only pt at the time. So, since I was up for next admit, I then left the room to go do my charting. Fifteeen minutes later, I get my preceptor to help me change and clean this pt. While we are turning the pt, my preceptor says, "Did you chart your assessment BEFORE you assessed her?" in a condescending tone of voice. I said no, I assessed her, why? "Well, you were awfully quick about it, weren't you? I explanined that I listened to her BBS, BS, and all that other stuff. She didn't say anything. Well, I was upset that she would accuse me of falsifying records? Turns out, she reported to the Asst. Head Nurse on Days , who is acting as the Head nurse while she is on leave, that I am not thorough enough with my assessments and this showed up on my 90 day eval which was done yesterday.

My eval also stated that I act as if I "know it all" and am "over confident" and don't ask enough questions and that I drew blood from a central line and didn't know what I am doing cause I didn't have the proper syringes(am I not allowed to have a brain fart?) I've drawn blood from central lines my entire nursing career.

Well, I was intimidated by the night shift preceptor cause she was so blatantly rude and I have never been talked to like that ever!!! So, I've been hesitant to ask her questions. I've not jeopradized pt safety mind you but I didn't know You HAD to take 15 minutes to assess a pt? I didn't do my assessments any differently on nights than I did on Days and there was never a problem with it then? I explained all of this to the AHN, the DON was also present and she said that I am right where I should be with my critical care skills and it takes a year to get comfortable in an ICU. How am I gonna get comfortable if I don't get to work in the unit and am always bumped out to the floors because I am the low man on the totem pole. I knew that I'd have to float when I took this job. But I don't know how they expect me to be a good ICU nurse if I never get to work in ICU!!!!!!

If I am uncomfortable around people then I am quiet which the other night RN's perceived as being "cocky". I had NO idea I was being perceived this way and I explained this to the AHN. We talked for 45 minutes yesterday. I still don't feel any better even though the AHN said it wasn't a bad eval per se. I said well it doesn't sound like a good one either! I was so upset that I almost started bawling. I'm getting tears in my eyes as I type this.

The night shift ICU RN's who have worked there for over 10 years are cliquey and can be hard to deal with. I knew this going in but didn't think it'd be this bad. They don't talk to me when I'm there unless I initiate a conversation. Another RN who I worked with on my old floor transferred to ICU last September and they LOVE her! I don't know what to do, I'm ready to quit! Please give me some advice. Sorry this is so long!

Kelly:o

[susanmary]

It's disheartening to hear yet, another story, of nurses "eating their own." Stick to your principles and hold your head up -- you know you are doing your best. Clearly, it's frustrating that you are being floated out of the ICU -- you need the experience and time on the unit. As for the AHN stating that you need to earn their trust -- the nurses have not shown themselves to be trustworthy. But try to get beyond this. It's difficult -- you're trying to be a team player -- and, at this point, they are not letting you "play." Only you can decide if it's worth it.

Sue:nurse:

[Jenny P]

Kelly, as a long term critical care nurse (and a long term night nurse too!), I am sorry that you had this experience. My suggestion is to go straight to that nurse and tell her that you are aware that she wrote you up negatively and you want to know what will change her opinion of you! People who run to the AHN or HN to report someone instead of talking with that person first are afraid of confrontation and usually do a fantastic job of stammering and back pedaling when confronted like that. Maybe I'm sadistic, but it is fun to watch them squirm when I've done this in the past. Then drive her crazy with questions from now on in! Tell her how you would do a procedure, then ask if that's what she'd do; pretty soon she will wish you'd shut up! (And it isn't sucking up, either).

On a side note here, I have found that it is difficult to evaluate a quiet newbie in ICU. As either a preceptor or "buddy," I find I am continually questioning them about different procedures, meds, etc. until I find they have a good grasp of what they are doing. I try to explain to them that unless they tell me what they are doing (and why), I will be "hounding" them about everything they do. Once they understand that I NEED to know how they are thinking, they usually start talking more and ask questions more and explain what they plan to do and why. Back in the "old days" of nursing (when I was young) we had a saying of "See One, Do One, Teach One" and that was how we learned different procedures: you had to know what you were doing before you could teach someone a new procedure. I don't know if that is still done elsewhere today, but the newer (younger) people that I've spoken to haven't heard of it.

I think that many of the "witches" in ICUs are overly possessive and protective of THEIR patients and feel that there is no one who can care for their patients as well as they can, and they will jump down anothers' throat for even the slightest transgression (at least that is a problem with the 3 in my unit). I wonder if they realise what they are doing sometimes.

Mario, I'm sorry you got written up 3 times by 3 nurses in the same unit. What did you do, talk all 12 hours to the patient you were sitting? Just kidding, but that is about the only thing I could possibly see you doing.

[Kikumaru]

Kelly, many here have told you to "hang-in-there" so-to-speak, however, if I were in the position you are in, I'd quit! Sorry to be so blunt and perhaps adverse but if more people would "quit" when confronted with these situations, management might start to pay attention to the real reason for the shortages.

[LaurieCRNP2002, MSN, RN, APRN]

Kelly

I don't know where you live but if there is a local chapter of AACN (Amer Association of Critical Care Nurses), you should look into joining! When I got a job in an ICU [which I ended up leaving after 3 months --long story ] one of the first things I did was join my local chapter. I am fortunate b/c I have met many wonderful people through my involvement with AACN and even have gone to NTI (the national conference) the last 2 years. Hopefully you can meet some RN's who are supportive and willing to be a mentor to you. Good luck and feel free to email me privately if you want to know more about my chapter, etc.

Laurie

[mattsmom81]

I wish I could say something helpful, Kelly, but what I can say is I do know how you feel as I was stuck in a small ICU with 2 witches once and it wasn't fun.... They were both burnt out, and i did eventually get to a 'tolerant place' with them once i understood all their numerous problems. Believe it or not, one of them quit and the remaining one immediately began to complain about how negative the other was...LOL! She soon left too. !

Any chance you can ask to go back to days where there aren't personality conflicts? Sometimes a different shift makes all the difference....you do need to stand up to them, though, sounds like they are bullies.

Some nurses just are NOT good preceptors and I wish to God theey would just ADMIT it and stop harassing our youngun's!!!

Best wishes..I know this isn't easy. (((HUGS))) Find some good folks to stick to...and if there aren't any...well maybe it is best to move on to a more positive place...

[REDWOMANRN]

I HAVE HAD THE SAME TYPE OF PROBEM--AND ONCE EVEN THE OPPOSITE!!!

AS A BRAND-NEW GRAD I GOT ABOUT 3-4 WEEKS ORIENTATION AND WAS TURNED OUT TO THE WOLVES!!! AT MY 6 MOMTH ORIENTATION, I WAS TOLD THAT I ASK"TOOMANY" QUESTIONS!!!

CAN YOU BELEIVE THAT ONE!!!!????

I WAS TALKING ONE NIGHT WITH A 25 YEAR NURSING VETERAN, TELLING HER THE STORY AND I THOUGHT SHE WOULD FALL OUT OF HER CHAIR!!

TAKE IT WASY AND KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!!!!

SOON, THEY WILL REALIZE WHAT A TRUE ASSET YOU ARE!!!!!

[tonicareer]

i'm going into nursing as a second career. i worked in schools for many years teachers act the same way nasty! if you have a unique personality or any thing they can pick on they will. I see the same thing go on everywhere in jobs. try to blend into the woodwork and not be noticed they probably are worried you'll do a better job than them and have a more interesting personality. and so they stuck it to ya to destroy your enthusiam for your future

[Heather56]

Kelly, if ICU is where you want to be hang in there. In a similar situation I allowed the nurses involved to intimidate me into leaving ICU and returning to the ward I had been on before. Unfortunately I didn't realize how much support I had there from the majority of nurse until after I'd gone. About 3 months after I had left one of my patients on the ward coded. The ICU nurse who came to the code took me aside after and told me I had done well and why didn't I come back to ICU. Even 6 years later ICU nurses I worked with back then still tell me I should come back!

I think what often happens is that the "difficult to work with" nurses end up all together as most others try to move to other shifts. This also means new staff often end up working with this "select" group.

Hang in there and good luck.

[Jenny P]

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that "no one can intimidate you without your permission." It is so important NOT to give anyone permission to intimidate you! Please remember that when working with people who try to do that to you.

[mario_ragucci]

Originally posted by Jenny P

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that "no one can intimidate you without your permission." It is so important NOT to give anyone permission to intimidate you!

but, nurses can sneakily try to make trouble for you by giving you an "off" evaluation, or by writing you up. That can only intimidate anyone.

i once dreamed up some kinda of mafia association that would specialize in taking care of these scenarios for the benifit of everyones mental health. Who can help both the attacking nurse and the victum nurses when this stuff goes on in semi-secrecy?

Like, some kind of "monitor" that is familiar with these work environments and mechanics, who could serve as a liason between new nurses under attack and their base. i guess I've said enough now. Thank you all for letting me chime in here:sniff:

[Jenny P]

Hey Mario, can you arrange some Mafia association to take care of the cannibal nurses? That would be cool!

[jurbyjunk]

Kelly, I know exactly how you feel. Nothing's worse than to be the goldfish in the shark pond. And in 36 years of working, I've seen my share of sharks. If they can't get at you professionally, they get at you personally. I have a few suggestions.

Someone here has suggested connecting with your specialty's professional group. Let them take you under their wing. Network, network, network, girl.

Take some specialty courses, you can take them by distance education if there's nothing available in your neck of the woods. Show your certificates to your HN. Go to seminars, in-services.

I wouldn't suggest cooking for the sharks. To me, that would come across as apologizing for existing. The occasional doughnut does work wonders, however. But don't kiss-up.

I would approach the #1 bytch and say something like "I understand that you gave me a poor evaluation after working such a short time on your shift. I realize that I should not take this personally, that this was just my first evaluation for night shift, but I FEEL as if you believe that I will never become competent to work in this unit. I FEEL as if you believe that I should be an expert right away, rather than being allowed time to learn. I FEEL hurt and embarrassed, as if you want me to be a failure here. Did you really mean for me to FEEL this way, and if so, why?" Always talk about how you feel, as that is subjective and not something that she can deny. Also lets her get a good look (okay, maybe she won't look) on how she appears to you.

Lastly, and since I'm only 5'1 1/2", my best advice is to learn to spit in their eye, upward if you have to.