Quitting a New Job

JKL33 · Nov 4, 2021

If you're sure about your feelings on this, then just use the standard "not the right fit" type wording. Be generally gracious. Personally I would decline to elaborate and if pushed I would say as much. "The staff have been very kind and I've appreciated [so-and-so]'s efforts in training and orienting me; all of that has been excellent. But this is not going to be the right fit for me...." If they inquire/press you on additional details just say, "I'm not going to elaborate. I've taken an appropriate amount of time to contemplate this and it is very uncomfortable but is what is best in the long run..."

Etc., things like that.

They're likely not going to waste money continuing your training, but that has nothing to do with your notice. Still give the standard two+ weeks notice. Keep your letter simple. Try to include a thank you somewhere such as "thank you for giving me the opportunity to become familiar with [organization] and for [so-and-so]'s efforts in beginning my orientation."

Good luck.

desandseek · Nov 4, 2021

Thank you so much for this. Your suggestion is exactly the kind of guidance I needed.

JKL33 · Nov 4, 2021

You're welcome!

MarkMyWords · Nov 8, 2021

What are a few examples of harassment you mention? From a male or female?

desandseek · Nov 8, 2021

Male and female, actually. I'm going to leave out titles and departments to maintain anonymity but I'll give a couple of examples.

My first day a female staff member A hauled off and slapped female staff member B in the butt. Incredibly hard too, I'd be surprised if it didn't leave a handprint. Shortly after staff member A did so, she made a joke along the lines of "just give it time, you'll have your turn" to me. Plus, I've seen at least two other female staff members slap other staff members' butts since I've started. I know I haven't been touched, but I'm a survivor of SA and that kind of behavior can trigger me on a bad day.

Another example is regarding a male boss. He's commented on my looks already (one example is asking me to remove my mask to see my face and calling me "real pretty") and I've observed him making comments to other female staff members regarding their appearances. Also, it was very early on mentioned to me by someone that he has boundary issues and not to hesitate if he crosses a line.

I've never worked anywhere that was so lax on professionalism and I've always been one to want to keep it professional in the workplace. I've worked hard to get where I am, I don't want to jeopardize it by having the lines between my job and my personal life blur.

JKL33 · Nov 10, 2021

?

You don't need any of that. It sounds disgusting and on a general level beyond annoying and unprofessional.

MarkMyWords · Nov 11, 2021

I gave this some thought. The butt slapping...are these with their friends or close women? In a workplace, especially in front of patients, it is clearly bad behavior. But .if they are a consensual couple then it is not harassment-- nevertheless unacceptable and strange. When the male boss says you are pretty, is this just a compliment or does he have other intentions? Tone of voice, inflection, nonverbal movements and context matter. It does sound inappropriate and outside of professional situation. Sometimes a compliment is only a compliment, but if this is an undesirable pattern, or asking to see your pretty face is weird and uncomfortable. Would you feel harassed if you were attracted to him? On a large relationship forum I use, women often say they have crushes on their bosses and vice-versa, and everyone is told to keep things professional, not get involved. If a patient tells you to remove your mask to see your face (momentarily) is that harassment now? I hope not because I like seeing facial expressions with persons attending me.

So my only advice is keeping your distance and in time transfer out, if possible, to another floor. Use email or phone instead of personal contacts, walk on seldom used stairs if you want. If he says you are pretty, make an unpleasant face. Tattling or gossip will worsen the situation.

JKL33 · Nov 12, 2021

8 hours ago, Mywords1 said:

The butt slapping...are these with their friends or close women? In a workplace, especially in front of patients, it is clearly bad behavior. But .if they are a consensual couple then it is not harassment-- nevertheless unacceptable and strange.

Yes it is bad behavior and unacceptable and strange. Additionally there is no excuse for the butt-slapper informing the new-employee OP that she will get her turn. That's something a bully does.

I understand you have been careful in noting that context may matter, but the context described in the OP makes the behavior inappropriate. I do not believe we need to look for ways to excuse or explain this poor behavior. It doesn't matter if the OP were attracted to this person who commented on her looks or not--if this were a budding friendship or attraction then the context would not be as it was presented by the OP. The OP is a new employee at this place, presumably employed as an RN. I have no idea why her looks would need to be commented upon.

The bottom line is that the OP just doesn't want to deal with this. Beyond the fact that she shouldn't have to, she also has no obligation to do anything other than make a personal choice about it and take action. That is her prerogative. Everybody makes their own choices and personally I think the OP made a smart one because life's just too short.

NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Nov 14, 2021

Harassment takes on many forms, direct and indirect. If the OP witnessed the slapping and was offended by it, it is considered harassment. It is no different than overhearing a heavy sexually over-toned joke between colleagues that one finds offensive. This indirect harassment is highlighted in our onboarding and annual trainings.