Quit first RN job after 9 months?

[NewNurseJules]

I finished nursing school in May (RN, BSN), started what I *thought* would be my dream job (inpatient oncology) in June, had a 16 week new grad preceptorship on my floor, and now I've been on my own for 5 months.

And I now DREAD my job. Going into nursing, I had no idea how stressful the patient load would be, how hard getting an admission at shift change would be, how much attention each patient needed for hanging TPN, blood, platelets, changing wound dressings, changing tubing and CVL dressings and port needles, orders constantly being updated, drains needing emptying, patients in respiratory distress, getting fevers, doctors not calling back, remembering to chart everything!!... every aspect of this job gives me high anxiety. I guess some personality types can handle this better than others, but I most definitely am not cut out for this type of nursing (or any type of nursing I'm starting to believe...).

I had a doctor chewing me out at shift change just last week for not calling her for a consult that was put in during the night... usually night shift nurses don't call consults at my hospital! I felt so embarrassed an incompetent, and that is not the first time I've done something that was not to this doctor's liking... I feel like I miss important things all the time, which makes me feel incompetent and quite frankly, stupid.

Everywhere I turn I find another issue that needs to be resolved, and I don't have time to resolve them all!

My anxiety before going into a shift starts about 12 hrs before my shift starts, and I cry on the way to work and on the way home from work every day. I LIVE for my days off and never pick up overtime when I'm asked. I feel like I'm a terrible team player; all the nurses on my unit are nice and always willing to help me when I'm drowning, but I NEVER have time to help them in return, and I never pick up overtime when needed because I'm already burnt out. So, naturally I feel guilty.

When is it time to ditch this job?? Has anyone had similar experiences to me? I hate to ditch nursing all together due to all the time and money I invested in my education, but I can't handle this!

Any suggestions of other areas of nursing that might be more suitable for people like me? Just looking for some guidance, thank you!!

[NurseLife88, ADN, RN]

I have read many post on allnurses about this subject in particular. Use the search tool and scroll through some other topics and responses related to the same thing. Think you will find some comfort or at least at little advice as to what to do:)

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Please let your supervisor know how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him/her, talk to your educator or your HR representative. You're not going to receive help/support if no one knows that you need it... they can't read your mind. Your employer has already invested to bring you on board. Don't they deserve an opportunity to fix what's broken and keep you on staff? Help them out a bit by trying to identify exactly what kind of help you need.

From your post, it appears that you are still struggling with time management. This is not unusual at all on a busy unit. I know that it is not much comfort, but this will improve as you become more confident in your ability to prioritize. If you lack confidence in some skills, your supervisor should be able to help you obtain additional training or practice. Is conflict a major source of stress for you? Talk to your educator about developmental opportunities in this area.

Bottom line? Don't succumb to defeat until you have worked toward a solution. None of us were born with the ability to manage a full assignment on a busy med surg unit. We all began in the same way. You CAN do this if you really want to.

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

When is it time to ditch this job??

IMO, not until you have a year of experience.

I refer to the new grad's second half of their first year (months 6-12) as the New Grad Black Hole. That's because if you quit/are fired during that time, you don't have a full year's experience and so you can't apply for staff positions--you're technically still a new grad. But at the same time, you have more than 6 months' experience and so you are no longer eligible for most new graduate residencies/programs--you're no longer new enough.

As you can see, being unemployed with only 6-11 months experience is a bad position to be in. So try to avoid it.

I agree with HouTx: talk with your nurse manager/supervisor and try to find a solution to any difficulties you are having. Don't be so hard on yourself--the first year of nursing is tough on all of us because you're learning all the things you briefly touched on in school (time management, delegation, etc.) WHILE you are working as a nurse in the real world. It takes time to build those skills as well as the confidence.

Do whatever you can to make it to that year mark. While getting 2 years of experience would be better, 1 year of experience starts opening more escape routes for you.

Hang in there!