questions long sorry

[catz]

im not sure if im allowed to post like tis so remove it if not......

i am a rn child, but have been off sick for most the last 18mths. i have been taking antidepressants for 2ish years. have tried a few different ones. effexor lasted the longest and helped keep my moods stable for longer. i was admitted to a psychiatric facility in juky this year. they stopped all my meds (anti migraine and anti allergy meds too) as soon as i got admitted. after 3 days of not recieving them i was with it enuff to demand to know y. basically the nurses were not happy to give the effexor at the dose i was on. i decided since i was feeling so much better it clearly hadnt been helping and the psychiatrist accepted this and agreed i could stop it. i didnt experience ny of the negative withdrawal effects i have heard some people do. in fact i felt better than i had done in years.

i didnt stop talking from the minute i woke up to the minute i went to sleep, unusual for me, i had a very high phone bill lol. i also went shopping, and bought a lot of things i didnt need but hey shopping was fun. sleep, i was having 3 or 4 hours a nite. but i was happy and i didnt care so long as i stayed happy. felt great. i was very organised and got lots of things done. this continued after discharge, just as well really i have moved house twice in the past month.

since then i have sunk right back down into the depths of depression. it is a struggle to get out of bed, let alone get dressed or do anything. but when i do manage to make myself stay up for more than an hour i end up running round like mad. i frequently clean, tidy, dust and vacum (so far i have vacumed twice today). i also have been displaying some ocd behaviours (and was while in hspital).

my diagnosis on discharge "u r well, go back to work" . ok i know that me being a nurse causes probles here in the uk. the fact that i have recieved psychiatric care could well have messed my future career up completly. get a label and i will most likely loose my liscence to practice as a nurse (thanks to bev allitt n the clothier enquiry). therefore they chose to overlook a lot of things while i was there and have not arranged ny psychiatric follow up. they did refer me to the psychologists for assessment and suggested cbt mite be more beneficial than the psychotherapy i tried before.

however atm my career is on hold, i have been fired due to the length of time i have been ill, and will now find it very difficult to get another job. i know that atm i am not ready to return to work as an rn. i think this is probably at least 12 months away.

a work colleague, and some friends have suggested that i am bipolar. they worked with me when i was "normal" and when i was in cant sit still must do everything phases. i didnt go in when i was depressed. friends have seen me in all moods. usually when i get active i last for 3 or 4 days, i only sleep for a couple of hours at a time, my house is always spotless and i will go out and do nything. but i get irritable and snappy and do not know how to be quiet. then i chill a bit, i am quiet, i go out because i have to, i get anxious and have panic attacks again. i function but no more.

the psychiatrist was not interested in hearing nything i had to say. all he was concerned with was i was no longer having a crisis, i was not actively suicidal, and i do not have any formal psychiatric illness that they had seen while i was an inpatient. goodbye thank you very much.

so currently i am not on ny meds, am not having ny therapy or counselling. i see my gp again next week. is there meds that he can prescribe to stop my moods from swinging so rapidly? i can be fine one minute n ready to kill myself the next, then fine and busy and organised the next. i nolonger remember what my normal mood is. surely there is something that can help while i wait for therapy, again. nyone got ny sugestions/advice?

and nyone from the uk with a psychiatric diagnosis in the past?

[lucianne]

Find another psychiatrist. Get on medication. If you are bipolar--and I am not making a diagnosis over the Internet--you are at high risk for committing suicide. I have no idea what the laws are regarding a psychiatric diagnosis for nurses in the UK. I would prefer to have a nurse on medication and receiving treatment care for me and mine than someone who is untreated because they are afraid of losing their license.

luci

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by lucianne

I would prefer to have a nurse on medication and receiving treatment care for me and mine than someone who is untreated because they are afraid of losing their license.

luci

Amen, I am bipolar and work as a nurse. With the right meds it's possible!

And to the thread starter, My biggest symptom is depression, I can work for a year or so and then boom! In the toilet. My hypomanic episodes (that business you describe) are only due to certain meds and stressors, and rare, thank God!

[catz]

personally i have got to the stage were i would rather get the right treatment and loose my liscence to practice as a nurse than carry on as i am doing.

the only way i will get another psychiatrist is if i end up in a&e/er again and they decide to admit me again. they are more likely to decide i am seeking attention and send me home once they have treated me as necessary. i very much doubt i will take myself back. i cant afford to pay private for a psychiatrist and dont really want to be told again "u r using psychiatric resources other people need more than u, ur smart, get over it and go back tp work". im fed up of asking for help and not getting it. im not working at the minute cos i know i am not safe to practice. i have no intention of being pressured into going back b4 i know that i can be safe in my practice.

what sort of meds should i be asking about? my gp did offer anit-deps again but i am reluctant since they havent worked b4, i dont want to take something that is not going to make ny difference but i will give things a try.

from the little i have read about bipolar, i suspect i could easily fit the criteria for bipolar II disoder but obviously i cannot make that diagnosis........the psychiatrists dont want to because of my career. im kinda stuck but hopefully my gp can prescribe some of the meds a psychiatrist would and therapy will start agin in a few months. treatment is better than none! cos yep ur right suicide is a risk.

incidentally i have only ever gone to a&e twice, both times i was taken by a friend i lived with. i now live alone again. i wont go crawling to them asking for help for something i have done to myself ........usually when i get that depressed i dont care enough to ask for the help myself.

[catz]

hypomanic......yeah only happens when i am mega stressed about something. is one of the many ways i deal with stress i guess. atm even going out causes extreme stress......and i know that is just pure stupid lol

[zydis]

PLEASE get a second opinion! I would encourage you to take the time to focus and take care of yourself. There are many nurses and other professionals who can work and lead a happy, productive life, given that they have the right treatment. You are more at risk to lose your license if you ignore or put off getting the help you need. Good Luck! Stay in touch.

[lmkrn]

catz, I can assure you there must be diagnosed (but most definitely undiagnosed ) working medical professionals in the UK as there in the US. These illnesses dont discriminate. I have worked with nurses , social workers ,aides & heard of Mds who have are or have been treated for bipolar , depression and anxiety disorders. Accurate diagnosis is essential followed by a trusting relationship with your psychiatrist. Many people respond well to medications despite the bad rep many (meds) get. Here in my neck of the woods we have Community Mental Health agencies that can assist with obtaining / accessing treatment .Does the UK have similar services? If you do require meds keep the following in mind; newer is not necessarilly better, these meds work (onset) slowly and stay in the system longer than many other meds so compliance is important even when you are feeling well, avoid self medicating with alcohol or sleeping aids or even caffiene, avoid shift work as structure is so important with all mi but particularly mood disorders. Please keep a positive and realistic opinion of yourself this ( if it is) is a medical illness you didn't ask for it nor can you will it away , you will likely be symptom free much more often than not .The risks of not treating this are huge ( emotional,financial ,risk taking, self esteem and potentially siucide). Please advocate on behalf of yourself (as you would your patients) to get the medical and emotional support you need. As far as meds go atypical antipsychotics are being used with increasing frequency some can cause significant drowsiness early on this should slowly fade another can cause carb cravings and the weight that comes with increase intake this can be managed for many by increased exercise Anti seizure meds are also used but most require blood monitoring( problem for some).Lithium is used less frequently than it had been here in metro Detroit area but is effective for many patients (some pts on newer meds asked to be switched back!),but again requires blood monitoring as the therapeutic range is somewhat narrow and can be toxic sometimes even at the upper limit of this range. Anti depressants should be used cautiously due to some having potential to trigger hypomania. Wish you all the best!

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by catz

from the little i have read about bipolar, i suspect i could easily fit the criteria for bipolar II disoder but obviously i cannot make that diagnosis........the psychiatrists dont want to because of my career.

My shrink says he treats a TON of nurses. You haven't met the right one apparently!

And now technically you are disabled.

I would call your local "help" or "crisis" line and tell them your situation. You will get what you need, you just have to tell yourself that you are worth it! I hear you minimizing your symptoms or saying that they are going to say you're not "bad enough". Well TELL them that suicide is a risk! TELL them you aren't safe at work.

Wouldn't you like to have your life back? Or an even better one?

God bless you girlie and private message me if you want.

xo

[maureeno]

>>> suggested cbt

this is what will help you

http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

[catz]

thanks guys, u have been very helpful. maureeno, that was very informative ty.

i go see my gp on thurs so i will see wat he has to offer. i also called the therapy place to see what has happened to my referral. she has to get back to me tomorrow.

[zydis]

i would suggest that you request a consultation with a professional trained in psych, [RNCS or psychiatrist] rather than depend on the GP. Although some are well intentioned, they often are not as skilled w/ diagnostics or informed re: current treatment modalities.

[PsychNurseDee]

I agree. Getting the right diagnosis is important to ensuring you are put on the right med for you. Having an emotional disorder, controlled with treatment, should not preclude you from being employed. I would recommend checking around for Psych NPs or another psychiatrist at least. Make some initial contacts in your area, and networking will provide you with additional resources. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted on how you are doing.