Question?? Tender hearted

Bumashes, MSN, APRN, NP · Apr 21, 2006

I think nurses who care as much as you are needed badly. There are many who become numb or burnt out. If you still don't think you can handle death, then just be sure to choose a specialty with a low death rate. Perhaps working in a health department or for a casino (Where I live, the casinos usually have a nursing staff onsite to see to their employees health related needs such as vaccinations and physicals.) Also, around here, a nurse could be an occupational health worker (or something like that, who inspects the work environment of several kinds of facilities. There are other places to work in nursing where you can still make a difference but not have to be so close to death. Also, do you think it's children dying or just dying in general that upsets you? At any rate, there are still plenty of opportunities in nursing that don't have to involve death. I say go for it.

enviragirl · Apr 21, 2006

I am a very tender-hearted person (cry at tons of movies) and am in my 3rd semester of clinicals. There have been many clinical days where I have gone home and cried. However, the farther along I have gotten in the program I have started to notice that things don't affect me as much as they used to. I'm sure there will always be certain cases that really affect me, but then there are also the really good outcomes that make me feel like what I am doing is worthwhile. Don't let your tender heart keep you from being a nurse. Every clinical instructor I've had has said that that is my best asset. Patients really appreciate someone who truly cares about how they are doing. I say go for it! If I can do it so can you!!!

fergus51 · Apr 21, 2006

I think you do need to learn to be able to put your emotions aside to a certain extent. You can't let yourself cry and grieve for a dead patient as much as that patient's family for two reasons. First off, you will burn out. You just can't maintain that level of emotional pain forever. Secondly, you have to be in control to provide support and care to others. If you are so emotional that you can't help others, then you won't be much good as a nurse.

That isn't to say there aren't days that we all still go home and cry. I think there is a balance to be found. You shouldn't be emotionless, you shouldn't be too emotional. There's no reason you can't find that balance.

MsKris24 · Apr 21, 2006

I lost my brother to suicide when he was 24 almost 7 years ago!! I just think that kept me from going into the field sooner!!! I think I must do this for myself and press forward to give whatever I can to help people!! Thanks for your comments!!!!!

luvmyboys · Apr 22, 2006

I am so sorry about your brother. I am sure that was devastating for you and your family and understandable that you put this career on hold for a while.

I can't answer your question from experience because I am just getting ready to start nursing school this summer. It is something I have wondered about myself. I have read some posts on this bb that have made my heart ache.

It sounds like you are a very caring person. I bet you would make an excellent nurse. Good luck to you!

MsKris24 · Apr 22, 2006

With the time that has passed, I have had alot of tme to think about what I would like to do with life!! I just seem to think that working in a maternity ward would be the coolest thing!!! HOW NEAT!!!!!!

Good luck with school!! and where it leads you!!!

Jellibum · Apr 22, 2006

...I knew the young girl was gone!! I cried all they way home and half the night!!! My mother asked me was I sure I could handle this!!

It is okay that you cried. We all cry over the loss of somebody every now and then - whether we knew them or not. Death is apart of the job. I can be ome sad/happy,long/short,expected/unexpected etc. i have often gone home and cried all the way there because of a death. But, i've also gone happy. I hope that this is where you can "make your difference"

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2006

I have had good paying jobs in the past($22hr), but it was the most unrewarding job I have ever done!!! I was miserable!! It was production work!!
I have always wanted to help people!!!
My question is--- Is nursing for the very tender hearted!! Just after I had submitted my application for nursing, within a week I came upon an automobile accident!! I knew the young girl was gone!! I cried all they way home and half the night!!! My mother asked me was I sure I could handle this!! I just feel if I dont make a difference in someone's life, then my life will just continue to be just as unrewarding as before!!! Any thoughts or comments!!
Thanks for your time!! :balloons:

I don't think this episode has any relevance towards your potential nursing career. One factor in determining a stress response is if you perceive to be in control of your exposure to the stressor. What I mean by this is, you were simply driving along and happened upon the accident. Shock. Surprise. You do not have medical training. You were not anticipating seeing a dead woman in a car accident right in front of your eyes. That is a jolt to your nervous system. Now contrast that with an RN, who has nursing education and experience. She expects to see troublesome sights when she steps into the hospital and she has training in what to do. She has control (mostly) over the stress because she has chosen to go to work in this setting, and has the training to perform.

I hope this makes sense. Anyone would have been upset and probably cried in your shoes. However, when you are performing within your role in a hospital, with education, one isn't as likely to lose composure.

MsKris24 · Apr 22, 2006

Thanks!! Great analysis!!! I am getting more excited about the whole idea everyday!!!

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2006

I don't think that the above experience has any relevance with deciding upon a future nursing career, but you (and everyone) should think long and hard about your emotional/pyschological make-up before deciding upon nursing. You need to have the ability to detach. Thing is, you have to get through clinicals with appropriate behavior. One may graduate and be a school RN, office RN, insurance RN, etc but you must be able to get through hospital clinicals while composed. Everyone breaks down now and then, but you cannot routinely break down. It is usually distracting for the patients and their families and puts the focus on you and your emotional state, which isn't appropriate. Some things to think about. For all of us students.

grinnurse, RN · Apr 24, 2006

I too am extremely tender hearted and wondered if I could disassociate that with my career and nursing and with all honesty I have to say that at times I can and at others I can't. The hardest deaths for me as a nurse are the ones where you really get to know the patient and their family. There have been a couple of times that when I am offering comfort to the family that I am crying right along with them and others that I am not. Can't explain the reason other than I just have a "connection" with them or I had only taken care of the patient for one shift which again would go back to that connection thing.

Being tender hearted exposes that human factor and smears that hard edge that sometimes "defines" nursing!! From my experience, the tender hearted nurses are just the ones you want around in that time of need and crisis!!