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Pt is always asking for me to buy her things?

Home Health   (482 Views | 7 Replies)

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So I’ve been with my pt for almost 6 months now.

Shes sweet and pretty much independent. She’s 5 years older than me.

I’ve noticed that her comments about buying her this and that are becoming frequent.

Like her birthday is in July she asked me to buy her Jordan’s I joked it off and said yeah right.

Then she says things like you should buy me a necklace or give me a hundred dollars for my birthday then she’ll make comments like I wear this size in shoes. 
 

She also makes comments like I want you to find me a girlfriend just like you. I just looked at her. She drives- so whenever I’m in the car with her she plays all this slow love songs. I may be reading too much into this. But it has me wondering. 
 

Now what have I’ve been doing to promote this, nothing I can think of. I have brought water before or breakfast. It gets to the point I can’t eat my lunch without her nieces and nephews asking for some ( she does at times as well) so I’ve had to bring extra. 
 

Her family and her even expects me to work off the clock. Like when she’s admitted to the hospital we can’t go. Well her family is too busy and she asks me to go with her and not to sound mean but I’m a single mom so if I’m not getting paid I have to pick up at my other job. 
 

Any advice?

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Daisy4RN has 20 years experience and specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

1 Follower; 1 Article; 1,171 Posts; 7,226 Profile Views

She is "pretty much independent", and she "drives". Not sure why she needs a HH nurse and/or caregiver and that may be part of the problem. Maybe she sees you as more of a friend instead of her care giver. You need to set, and keep, professional boundaries. No working for free and no gifts. People can and will expect over the top things sometimes, and sometimes the lines get blurry, but that doesnt mean that you should buy into it. Just remind yourself, and the pt/family (appropriately), that this is a professional relationship. They are either taking advantage of you purposefully or the lines have been blurred for them. You are right to put your kids first!

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If setting professional boundaries seems like too much work to be worth it, then just find another case, and tell your agency why you are leaving this one. Frankly, sounds rather aggravating to me, but some can withstand more aggravation than others at any given point in time.

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On 2/25/2020 at 9:29 PM, Daisy4RN said:

She is "pretty much independent", and she "drives". Not sure why she needs a HH nurse and/or caregiver and that may be part of the problem. Maybe she sees you as more of a friend instead of her care giver. You need to set, and keep, professional boundaries. No working for free and no gifts. People can and will expect over the top things sometimes, and sometimes the lines get blurry, but that doesnt mean that you should buy into it. Just remind yourself, and the pt/family (appropriately), that this is a professional relationship. They are either taking advantage of you purposefully or the lines have been blurred for them. You are right to put your kids first!

To be honest IDK why she needs a nurse either. It’s just becoming more aggravating because her/family think we are there to be maids. She keeps throwing hints at what she would love/like. Then she’s gay, so I feel as if she makes hints at me like when she told me to hook her up with a girl just like me and started smiling. 
mom 29 and not married, so I don’t share my personal details that I have a bf. But I feel like I need to to change her thoughts. Ugh I’m just frustrated.

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On 2/26/2020 at 5:06 AM, caliotter3 said:

If setting professional boundaries seems like too much work to be worth it, then just find another case, and tell your agency why you are leaving this one. Frankly, sounds rather aggravating to me, but some can withstand more aggravation than others at any given point in time.

I try to set them by not sharing any personal details and getting in a routine but I swear with home health the pt feels like they have the power of you don’t do/say what they like oh I can get another nurse. The agency is a new agency and only literally have two cases which are fulled

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Daisy4RN has 20 years experience and specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

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12 hours ago, mzsuccess said:

To be honest IDK why she needs a nurse either. It’s just becoming more aggravating because her/family think we are there to be maids. She keeps throwing hints at what she would love/like. Then she’s gay, so I feel as if she makes hints at me like when she told me to hook her up with a girl just like me and started smiling. 
mom 29 and not married, so I don’t share my personal details that I have a bf. But I feel like I need to to change her thoughts. Ugh I’m just frustrated.

If you really are unable to extricate yourself from this assignment you just need to know where to draw that boundary line and keep it. Dont engage in the chit chat when she is just trying to push the boundary. When she is saying she is gay and wants you to hook her up, keep the conversation professional and say something like,...oh I never knew you were gay, you never mentioned that before, I am glad you told me that so I can update your medical records, but of course you know I am a nurse, not a matchmaker, and then change the subject. 

You will never be able to change others thought, the only thing you can do is change your reaction to them. Keep the conversation professional and dont let it get to you. If the daughter is the pt there should not be any non professional talk with the mom (at least in this case).

I know these situations can be difficult, been there, but you can make it better by your actions/reactions. Good luck!

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On 2/28/2020 at 5:12 AM, mzsuccess said:

I try to set them by not sharing any personal details and getting in a routine but I swear with home health the pt feels like they have the power of you don’t do/say what they like oh I can get another nurse. The agency is a new agency and only literally have two cases which are fulled

But the thing is, they DO have the power over you to get rid of you at any time or on any whim.  When you forget to always keep their power over your livelihood foremost in your mind, then you have developed unrealistic expectations to be working in this venue without mental anguish.

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On 3/1/2020 at 11:25 AM, caliotter3 said:

But the thing is, they DO have the power over you to get rid of you at any time or on any whim.  When you forget to always keep their power over your livelihood foremost in your mind, then you have developed unrealistic expectations to be working in this venue without mental anguish.

I know. Which sometimes can cause a power trip. Like the other day she tells me in front of her entire family “ it’s clothes in the dryer”. It’s to the point where her and her family are seeing us as maids and the agency has them thinking it’s OK. 

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