help me understand

NurseDennie, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2003

((((((Darn Mom))))))

I'm sorry not to have any words of wisdom, because I don't understand, either.

I'll be thinking and sending good thoughts and vibes as you deal with this.

Love

Dennie

ShandyLynnRN, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2003

I am not a psych nurse, but from what you have said, the cutting herself part atleast, sounds like she does have some type of psych disorder. Luckily, these days most of these disorders can be treated very effectively with counseling, meds, and a great support system. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for her, and you are obviously very concerned and seem to be on the right track to wanting to help her get better. The big thing with psych illnesses in my minimal experience with them is compliance. I send you a big hug, a fellow mommy's prayer, and wish you and your daughter lots of luck!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Apr 5, 2003

I did the same thing at 14, and survived, and am doing fine now. I had a depression that kicked in at the onset of puberty. Not your fault at all, although it might help to make sure she is not hanging out with friends that reinforce her behavior. Also let her know that exercise releases the same endorphins, and you will be willing to give her lots of home renovation, heavy cleaning to do, if she feels so tense... I mean, you know, say it in a loving , constructive way...

Best of luck.

memphispanda, RN · Apr 5, 2003

I also was a self-harmer during high school. I'm fairly normal now. I never received any sort of treatment for it, I just removed the source of the stress (as much as possible) that was causing me to hurt myself. There is definitely hope for your daughter to heal.

susanmary · Apr 6, 2003

Help me understand this -- you "dropped" your daughter off at the hospital. What happened next? Your daughter is crying out for help, and she needs professional help now. You need to also speak with her guidance counselor and let him/her know what is going on in her life. When did the cutting start -- was this before her dad re-entered her life? Have her friends changed? How are her grades? She needs your love, support -- and she needs you to be her MOM -- don't worry if she doesn't like you all the time -- this is not the time in her life that she needs another best friend --she needs a MOM. It sounds like you are doing a great job, and do have a grasp of the wonders of teenagers. No one can tell you, with certainty, about her future. We can't tell this with any of our, or our children's futures. What I do believe, however, that your daughter will benefit from professional help. Good luck.

blue280 · Apr 12, 2003

Thanks to all for the support. My daughter is home now and on Zoloft. She was more angry than depressed. We had some family sessions but her dad did not show. She will continue to be in therapy for a while until her anger at her dad gets somewhat resolved. All in all, this experience has drawn us closer together. Thanks again for the helpand support. You guys are great!

lucianne · Apr 14, 2003

Sometimes cutting is just something kids have to try out, especially kids who are into goth culture or who know other kids who cut. For others, it is a maladaptive coping mechanism. Self-injury is one of the diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder and biploar kids are known to cut themselves (although technically teens aren't diagnosed BPD due to their developmental stage, I've seen teens that scream BPD). Some people cut themselves when they start to feel particularly dissociative, because they feel they have no other acceptable means to express their anger or sadness, or because their emotional pain is so great that physical pain distracts them from it. It can be an addictive behavior. People who cut can be very secretive about it and hide their cuts or other wounds. Fortunately, most people who cut will eventually stop. Even if your daughter stops (or says she has stopped) she may start again if she's feeling stressed. I'm glad she's getting some help, but be prepared for this to possibly be a long process, but not necessarily a life-long one.

There's a pretty good book on the subject: Cutting by Steven Levenkron.

good luck

luci

pamie · Apr 28, 2003

I work with the criminally insane population, almost all of the female pts. who are diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder are self-abusive in some way-most frequently "cutters". I would also like share that upwards of 90% of them have been sexually abused.

pamie · Apr 28, 2003

I work with the criminally insane population, almost all of the female pts. who are diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder are self-abusive in some way-most frequently "cutters". I would also like share that upwards of 90% of them have been sexually abused.

lucianne · Apr 28, 2003

Yes, self-mutilation is one of the diagnostic criteria of BPD. However, not all who self-mutilate have BPD, not all who self-mutilate have been sexually molested, and not all women with BPD are "criminally insane."

luci

lucianne · Apr 28, 2003

Yes, self-mutilation is one of the diagnostic criteria of BPD. However, not all who self-mutilate have BPD, not all who self-mutilate have been sexually molested, and not all women with BPD are "criminally insane."

luci