help me understand

[blue280]

Hi, I'm fairly new to this and everyone seems soo nice. I was hoping you could help me.

I just dropped my 14 year old daughter off at the hospital for cutting herself. She was using a razor blade on her arms and she has me scared to death. She has been moody and arguing with me about all kind of things. I'm feeling really guilty that I didn't see this coming at all. I figured she was 14 with raging hormones and when I talked to my freinds they would tell me that she was a typical teen.

I guess my questions are: Is this fixable or is she always going to at risk for hurting herself and what can I do as her mom to help her?

Some background, I am a single parent and her dad has come back into her life recently but only because he wants her to babysit for his kids that he has with his girlfriend. She is a good student and has freinds. She has started to dress "goth" and she died her hair black. Again, I just thought this was normal teen behavior. I knew that its hard dealing with adolescents but I guess I'm learning exactly how hard! When she's not mad at me, we get along very well. Thanks so much just for listening, its been real hard to deal with this.

[CliveUK]

I think lucianne has given you a good answer - sometimes cutting is just one of those things teenagers do as they experiment with their identity - like smoking, drinking too much, huffing solvents &c. Most will try it once or twice and give it up once it hurts/makes them cough/makes them puke. Best to maintain a relaxed, low-key attitude about it, IMO.

[CliveUK]

I think lucianne has given you a good answer - sometimes cutting is just one of those things teenagers do as they experiment with their identity - like smoking, drinking too much, huffing solvents &c. Most will try it once or twice and give it up once it hurts/makes them cough/makes them puke. Best to maintain a relaxed, low-key attitude about it, IMO.

[MoJoeRN,C]

A good psychiatric work up with appropriate testing (MMPI etc)is esential in determining the extent, depth, cause of the problem. Anger is a form of depression. Some anger out, hurt others, some anger in, hurt themselves, others have multiple medical complaints, all of these can be manifestations of depression. Absolute honesty is essential in getting proper treatment. I've had patients who were afraid to disclose honestly for fear of never getting out of the hospital if others knew what was really going on. Actually getting past this point is admitting the problem, getting past denial and actually getting into treatment for the problem. Being in a treatment facility is not necessarily getting treatment. Also family therapy is essential in learning how to properly react to situations with out making the situation worse or starting "old tapes" to start playing. Good luck. Be a listener, God gave us 2 ears and only one mouth for a reason. Unconditional love is important so she will know she has someone/someplace to go to.

[powmol]

hang in there, keep her going to therapy to help with the anger, and continue to involve her dad. She will remember your continual help , just as she will remember that her father did not. Good luck to you and her!!!

[catz]

praps u could check out this support forum

http://busmail.org/phpBB/index.php

it has a section for family and friends of those who self injure n the focus is not on comparing stores/damage etc (which is banned n such discussions are removed immediately) but on recovery and on stopping the self injury.

good luck

cat

[renerian, BSN, RN]

I have a family member with four psyc disorders so I feel for you so very much. Your getting her help is great.

I hope she and you will be okay,

renerian