My mother and I are having a debate about whether or not you can deal with a pregnancy and newborn while going to nursing school. I say that you should not attempt either. The school is expecting a committment from you and if you are going to have a baby, you should do that, and THEN go through school, or wait to have the baby until AFTER.
She seems to think that it might be possible, somehow, and that I should "find out" - however that is going to happen (?). I am 34 and applied to start in an accelrated BSN program starting in May. So, I was planning to try for a second child after I graduate. However, I am not on any BC, because I am so sensitive to the hormones. So, it is possible we could have a slip-up and get pregnant.
My first pregnancy was no joy-ride. And I am expecting the same kind of issues with a hypothetical second one (low progesterone levels, pregnancy-induced high BP, gestational diabeties, bed rest near end of term...) I don't feel that I have a whole lot of time left to have another baby, since I will likely be 36 when graduating.
What are your opinions, or experiences? Is there anyone out there who has gotten pregnant in the middle of a nursing program? What happened?
Very nice for you if that's what you wanted, but impractical for many people here.
Well said!! The very reason I am going to nursing school is because we do not have enough money to live on just my husband's salary. In fact, if you read back a few posts I wrote about our terrible financial situation.
However, I am not on any BC, because I am so sensitive to the hormones. So, it is possible we could have a slip-up and get pregnant.
Have you considered Mirena IUD? It has 1/800 the amount of hormones in the pill and can be used for up to 5 years.
In my opinion, getting pregnant and having a baby in an ABSN program is a terrible idea. Those programs are very intense, so making a decision like pregnancy & baby care will greatly increase the likelihood that you'll fail out, wasting all that time and money. If this were me, the choice would be obvious - wait until finishing the program to even think about getting pregnant, not wanting to risk failure.
Well said!! The very reason I am going to nursing school is because we do not have enough money to live on just my husband's salary. In fact, if you read back a few posts I wrote about our terrible financial situation.
If that is the case (which is entirely understandable), then it makes the most sense that you do whatever you can to avoid becoming pregnant, and let the chips fall where they may after you graduate (as you stated). You need to make sound decisions for the family you have, rather than the family you may have (there are no guarantees in life, and fertility is a pricey option, especially for a financially strained family).
No one knows how streasful nursing school is inless you've done it (i'm referring to your nother here, Unless she happens to be a nurse). You need to consider your quality of life, for you and your family. An accelerated program does not give you much time off. And just being in school is half the battle: you need to study, prepare for clinicals and commute. Your support system needs to be supportive, and mean it. You are doing this for your family, and while you will be sacrificing a lot while in school, it'll be worth it in the end. You cannot let your family guilt you into feeling bad for not being there, or "pulling your share" at home. I have been through this personally, and have seen it with many of my students (many of which weren't pregnant).
Really can't delay school, given our financial situation. We are about to declare bankruptcy... So, obviously we cannot afford daycare. And my mother is not able to babysit for me. My mother-in-law has been doing all the childcare when I'm not around (besides hubby, who works 11 hr days) because MY mother is in bad health.
I think my mother is nuts - she is just trying to get me to have another baby becaue she is afraid that by the time I graduate, it might be too late for me (physically) to have another one. She had endometreosis, and ended up with a hysterectomy by the time she was my age. But I say, let the chips fall where they may. We are happy with our toddler who is just turning two. And if we end up with only one child, then so be it. I mean, I could always try in-vitro...whatever. I'm open to possibilities in fertility treatment. I know it's expensive because I did it the first go-around, but it worked like a charm! And now we have a beautiful boy. :-)
Wow. So you're approaching bankruptcy, can't afford daycare, have a 2yo, husband is working 11hrs/day, your mother is in bad health, and then you want to go to an accelerated RN program AND have a baby? Maybe you're superwoman, but most of us would probably not take on any more stress in your situation. It's going to be hard enough to get through a very aggressive program and have time to take care of your child, considering that you aren't going ot have a lot of help from your husband, other than his mother. Sure you want to put that kind of pressure on HER? IMO, having a baby right now sounds like a really bad idea.
Well, nursing school is no piece of cake, but you also can't take your fertility for granted either. I had my son while in my third year of nursing school. I left right after the fifth semester since I was due, had my son, took a bit of time off, and then returned, completed the program and graduated. It wasn't easy, but it was something I really wanted to do, so I did it.
From the sounds of things, getting pregnant is not something you wish to do, so I would wait if I were you. What if something happened or occurred that prevented you from returning to complete your program? You may hold that against your baby. While it worked for me, it was also something I made a decision to do because it was something I wanted. You know yourself best, and you want to wait, so wait.
I agree that it is a personal decision and you should evaluate what is a priority for you at this time.
However, it is possible! I delivered my 2nd child during the 2nd month of my program and continued to achieve A's. I am also pregnant again with our 3rd and will deliver right after graduation. It is tough with fatigue , but I just figure everyone going to nursing school has some obstacles to finding time to study and to our family having a baby at that time was important to us to have our children close in age.
On a side note, I attend a weekends/evenings program and there have been over 10 babies born since the start of the program in 9/09. All of the students have managed to continue achieving passing grades.
Wow. So you're approaching bankruptcy, can't afford daycare, have a 2yo, husband is working 11hrs/day, your mother is in bad health, and then you want to go to an accelerated RN program AND have a baby? Maybe you're superwoman, but most of us would probably not take on any more stress in your situation. It's going to be hard enough to get through a very aggressive program and have time to take care of your child, considering that you aren't going ot have a lot of help from your husband, other than his mother. Sure you want to put that kind of pressure on HER? IMO, having a baby right now sounds like a really bad idea.
well, see if you actually read what I wrote, you would see that I never said that I want to have a baby right now. I'm definitely not superwoman, nor am I trying to be. Nor do I want to be. Believe me, I would not be going to school right now, if it weren't for my husband. He doesn't have a degree, so *I* am the quickest way to help get us into a better situation financially. Which means getting my ass through the BSN program.
Oh! And another thing...I would never be able to go to school if it weren't for my MIL offering to baby-sit for us, so that we can actually do this. She is an Angel!
I did it (unplanned pregnancy, already had one child) and graduated with a 4.0 after sitting out a semester in a regular (not accelerated) program.
Would I recommend it? Absolutely not. Very stressful, and made it difficult to give my new baby the attention I felt she deserved.
I mean no disrespect to your mother, but your reproductive choices are absolutely none of her business. Particularly since you seem to have no desire to be pregnant right now, why are you even allowing this dialogue to occur? "I love you very much Mom, but this subject is not open for discussion." End of debate.
I did it (unplanned pregnancy, already had one child) and graduated with a 4.0 after sitting out a semester in a regular (not accelerated) program.
I mean no disrespect to your mother, but your reproductive choices are absolutely none of her business. Particularly since you seem to have no desire to be pregnant right now, why are you even allowing this dialogue to occur? "I love you very much Mom, but this subject is not open for discussion." End of debate.
Oh, haaa, yeah we all have our issues with our mothers, don't we?! Mine happens to be a control issue... She likes to try to tell me what to do. I don't actually participate in the discussion; mostly, i'm silent because the conversation ends up being shorter if I keep my mouth shut. this is how the whole conversation got started: I told her I had gotten my period and that is was more painful and making me feel really bad this time around. She took taht and ran with it, and said that she is worried because she is afraid I will have the same problems she had...endometreosis, etc... But, so far I have no signs of endometreosis.
Oh, haaa, yeah we all have our issues with our mothers, don't we?! Mine happens to be a control issue... She likes to try to tell me what to do. I don't actually participate in the discussion; mostly, i'm silent because the conversation ends up being shorter if I keep my mouth shut. this is how the whole conversation got started: I told her I had gotten my period and that is was more painful and making me feel really bad this time around. She took taht and ran with it, and said that she is worried because she is afraid I will have the same problems she had...endometreosis, etc... But, so far I have no signs of endometreosis.
Yes, we all do have issues with our mothers :) Just remember 2 things:
1)we love them
2)our kids will someday say the same thing about us
I knew a few who did it successfully in nsg school, but I wouldn't try it in an accelerated program. When I was in grad school we'd be in labs until all hours, and the accel. BSN students were always there when we left and ften still there when we got back the next morning!
, but I just figure everyone going to nursing school has some obstacles to finding time to study and to our family having a baby at that time was important to us to have our children close in age.
Mine happens to be a control issue... She likes to try to tell me what to do. I don't actually participate in the discussion; mostly, i'm silent because the conversation ends up being shorter if I keep my mouth shut. this is how the whole conversation got started: I told her I had gotten my period and that is was more painful and making me feel really bad this time around. She took taht and ran with it, and said that she is worried because she is afraid I will have the same problems she had...endometreosis, etc... But, so far I have no signs of endometreosis.
NurseBanana
179 Posts
Well said!!
The very reason I am going to nursing school is because we do not have enough money to live on just my husband's salary. In fact, if you read back a few posts I wrote about our terrible financial situation.