Palliative care (and then hospice care) was a godsend to me. My beautiful 3 year old son died next to me in bed at home. And everything was peaceful. I had watched him have a horrific code (30 minutes long and then ECMO) 16 months prior, so I decided I was going to choose a peaceful (and inevitable) death for him. The last part of his life, I didn't want him to struggle or feel pain! And thanks to palliative care (and hospice) it was very minimized. I wasn't stupid, I knew he was going to die. I'm thankful palliative care guided me through that process.
Without those pain meds, my very young heart would have been ripped out even more watching him struggle.
You are not killing anyone! When I started my son in palliative care, I already knew, their was no 'curing' or fixing what he was going to die from. It was about quality of life. And that is way more important than quantity. I was not in control, my son't doctors were not in control, and his nurses were certainly not in control.