In a way I miss it, but no way in HELL am I going to pick up again. I only miss the relaxing feeling I felt when I was drinking or taking pills. I could have royaly screwed my life up if I would have kept going. Ive been given grace by the Mississippi Board of nursing, It's hard to believe I'm getting only a 500.00 penalty and 2 addiction courses. However I have worked very hard at staying sober and I am definately going to do so! Good luck to everyone out there!