Hey guys! This is a long read but I’m hoping some of you have some experience with this sort of thing. I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time and here’s where I am. I have been working with the same medically fragile child in her home for over a year now. She has a whole host of issues including but not limited to: trach, vent, GB, PD and HD, developmental delays, etc. I have been loyal and dedicated to this child/family and like many nurses, placed this child/family above my own.
I work nights and have been working nights since the beginning. When I first started I loved my job, my kiddo, and the family.
For the majority of the time, I was working extra bc the family had no one else to work nights. I have become very familiar with this pt, her needs and how her needs have changed. I treat and love her like she is my own. (Maybe that’s my problem).
In the beginning, I thought I got along great with the family and thought they truly cared about me as a person. There used to be kind gestures of them baking cookies and bringing me a few. Over the last couple of months, the PCG has become very distant and overly critical of me.
I’m still not sure why but about a month ago I had reached out to my agency to let them know that moving forward I was no longer going to be able to work a certain day or the week. We are on an XY schedule and me asking for this one day off every week equates to 2 days a month. I gave agency a months notice, sent emails and called several times. Until this week they did not have anyone and I reluctantly agreed to continue to work it so pt would have coverage. I also talked to PCG about it. Last week I told her that “I love the pt very much and thought of all of them like family.” She said, “Well that’s good bc we want all our nurses to care about her that way.”
Ouch....that really hurt. I realized at that moment last week, that this family does not care about me as a person but only sees me as a commodity. I’m dumbfounded that as a fellow human being, she didn’t even bother asking me if I was okay or anything as to why I needed that day off. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive but since then, everything has changed.
Often times now I find myself in the situation where the PCG “steps on my toes” or micromanages me. She has since been overly critical of everything I do, when she comes in the room she will not speak to me. If I try to have any conversation with her, she ignores me. She blames be for things that have nothing to do with me. She made it clear she was upset bc I “wasn’t spoiling her like I used to.” (I used to go above and beyond the call of duty: pts laundry, organizing supplies, deep cleaning, etc. until I realized that she did not care or value me).
I'm honestly disgusted with the whole situation. I’m upset bc I allowed myself to get too close and feel really foolish for doing as much as I did for a person that’s now treating me like poo. I’m now “walking on eggshells” bc I feel like I may get the boot and I don’t know what happened or what changed. She admits and acknowledges that I love the child and take good care of her.
I am continuing to do some of the things I used to do but not everything. Just to be clear, how I feel about the PCG will no way influence how I care for my patient. That will NEVER change. I would just appreciate any advice, feedback, or similar stories from you guys!