Ddoyle

They don't really block much and tend to block the weirdest things. I get about 5 - 10 minutes of down time here and there. I posted this at the end of the day during my "lunch" when I was able to take it. And now replying in the very morning as I get ready for the day. It's immunization time now, however.

Hello all! Just wondering since today has been the CRAZIEST of days... 5 head injuries, 3 breathing issues, twisted knee, 6 students hurt by another student (all different and intentional), staff member hurt from a student, student bit by another, odd parent behavior, wet pants like crazy, and tons of vomiting. In one day. I've only been doing this job for a few weeks now but today is BY FAR the craziest day I've ever encountered here. Those visits from above were in addition to any other typical visits. Tonight marks the beginning of a new moon. I am wondering if anyone else has this superstitious belief that new and full moons have an effect on visits and odd behavior? Oh. Had a student decide to pee all over my bathroom. Walls, ceiling (talented!), mirror, sink, and even a little managed to get outside of the bathroom. 15 minutes then I'm out of here!

Had a lockdown in the morning (as I was heading out of the door for a mandatory hearing/vision training). Someone saw a young gentlemen hop a fence near our field where students were at recess. We were locked down for 45 minutes and cops came in through our office and confronted the man. Turns out he was a parent who walks his son to school. He forget to give him something and instead of going around he hopped the fence. Sheesh!

My recess duty is a combination of 15 minutes lunch duty and 15 minutes recess duty. It's funny how there are NO injuries at this time with me there when normally I'd receive 5-10 kids from the same group if I weren't

Of course I have seen the "I threw up" kid and look in the trash can. Nothing but a little spit. Sorry buddy! Back to class you go! Also love the parents that get calls from me because their kid is a frequent flyer and tell me unless they have a fever or are throwing up a lot that they need to go back to class. They talk to their own kid, yell at them to get the HECK to class and stop wasting their school time. Parents get an award.

Recess Duty Baby-sit kids who need a "safe place" Refer parents to clinic for birth control (please use it!!!) Diagnose weird problems on teachers and kids not of school age (sorry... not a doctor!) Data entry... lots... 85% of my job! Give out CPS forms Pads/tampons for teachers (K-6 school... not many issues here.) Calm frustrated parents who are mad at the teacher Fixing or loaning uniforms provider of naps Ensure tooth fairy receives tooth (plastic bags are great) Hygiene education convenient bathroom and water area Fixer of "pain" from writing (no injuries) Break time from testing

Today is change of clothes day. Had TWO kids come in from 1st and 2nd grade who coincidentally peed their pants at the same time in different classrooms.. Seriously, what are the odds of that happening?

Reminds me of Family Guy episodes where Peter projectile vomits, and then everyone else starts to projectile vomits. It's fine for a few seconds but then you get really nauseous after 1 minute of watching that same scene.

I love vomit. Why? Because it's VERY clear they are sick and not faking. If they are faking, good for them! They get a "get out of school free" card for today and tomorrow. Vomit = instant call and pickup. No fuss, no hassle!

I get these questions from teachers too... except I have no records of ANY issues with the kids. I have to call home for them to tell me they have life-threatening allergic reactions to peanuts or they have very bad asthma and was recently taken to the hospital for an asthma attack. You didn't think this was all stuff important for your school health office to know? Really?

Had a parent come in because she kept her son home that day. She claimed he had mosquito bites and that they NEVER have had them before. They come from Chicago. She demanded I perscribe him an Over the Counter anti itch ointment so she can get it for free from Wal-Mart. When I told her I don't prescribe medication she told me "but your a Dr. Ain't you? I had to explain that Doctors go to school for up to 10-12 years and that I received a much shorter time. She then asked which clinics in the area she could take her son. I gave her the information for a clinic we work closely with that is 2 blocks away. "Aw Hell no! I ain't walking that far!" I tried. She also wanted me to diagnose her son and then allow her son to have an excused health absence for his record. I told her I couldn't do that, since mosquito bites weren't a valid reason to miss school. Only vomiting, fever, or other serious health condition. I let her know she could get a doctor's authorization for it, but I wouldn't give it to her. "So my son has to sit in class and itch itch itch? He's going to be uncomfortable and won't listen." Yup. To top it off her son was in the front office wearing sandals, a tanktop, and shorts. He had his mom's wireless bluetooth speaker blasting rap music while turning in circles swinging an open umbrella. That about takes the cake for me. 3 weeks on the job.

I also just found out that parent volunteers were just sitting there because they haven't had their "orientation" yet. So they were just learning the ropes of what needed to be done and ect. It's the 3rd week of school... no orientation yet...

Those are really great ideas. I haven't seen any in school suspensions yet, but will relay that to the principle that they could have a suspension kiddo help. With the ziplock bags that is also a great idea. I'm worried about the cost though. Aren't the big ziplocks pretty expensive?

800 students. I'm not sure if that's large or not in comparison to other schools. K-6

I tell the kids their glasses need a visit with their teachers tape dispenser and send them back...