It's just something you're going to have to learn to deal with unfortunately. I've been a CNA for 2 years now and really it sound like this woman needs an attitude adjustment. I work with a couple like that. They would rather the patient sit in urine and bm until bath time (which may be 2 hours away) instead of doing a quick clean up and grabbing a new gown later.
As for the urine in the bedpan since you had no access to the chart I can understand you not messing with it. Makes sense. I've dealt with nurses that will go check on their patient, check the container and write down the measurement then come out and ask me to empty it. I mean really? You can't just pour it out, you just picked it up and recorded the amount and you can't take an extra 2 seconds to dump it in the toilet? Now that ticks me off.
But back to the point, I have learned that working in this field does require a bit of thick skin, and if you can't kill folks like that with kindness then it's best just to ignore them outside of purely professional contact.