Dear Nursy 1 RN, I can tell that you are a very conscientious person. You truly want what is best for the patient/client. What you are probably finding out by now is that it is hard to vent your frustrations and even harder to read the comments.
Over the last 30 years, I have found that nurses are way too hard on nurses! Most of us have an innate need to be a superwoman of a sort. When we are in school and even now, it doesn't matter how long that one has been in the field, it is drilled into our heads...give....give...give.
Some, and I have found that "most" of our colleagues have a deal where they simply want to be the best and they don't want anyone else coming along side them to truly learn and perfect a craft.
Also, because we are so strapped in our individual positions, our patience runs very low. I understand the patience thing, but I will never understand not wanting to help another nurse be the very best that she can be, even if it means that she is better than me.
I love the statement that you made, "we go through things for a reason." This world needs more nurse advocates. We have so few. You would be a good one.
I have found some of the same experiences and also have witnessed more of what you are describing than I would like to recount. You are a blessed soul, as are all nurses! Don't give up. It is not that you are wrong and they are right. It is not that you are in a profession that is wrong for you either. It is that our profession needs a major overhaul and it needs to start with each individual nurse. Consciences don't grow on trees. I think we all have them at some point, but somehow through the scurry of the days, day in and day out, week in and week out, month in and month out, year in and year out, most of us just get into a survival mode and forget our own life itself.
I left Hospice and bedside nursing for Health Coaching. I can still help people and do "well care" rather than sick care. I encourage you to look into it, or something that will nurture you while you nurture others.You will have the ability to fill your need of purpose in helping without the nastiness and demands that the bedside nursing profession sometimes brings. I wish you the very best in your search. Never stop searching for what makes you happy. Life is too short. Health Coach00