For a few years, since I started nursing school, I've been reading posts on Allnurses to seek advice, encouragement, and on the hopes of finding someone to relate to.
So- I've been thinking a lot about my career lately and I thought I would post about it. Maybe it will lead to discussion, advice, or just give someone something to relate to.
I worked in psychiatry from when I graduated until a month ago. A month ago I started a new job in long term care, culture shock much! Haha. But seriously- I have to think in a different way. My priorities are different. The meds are different, the rules are different.
And- I love it. I've never been happier. My husband can attest to this. I never thought I'd find my niche- but I think this finally fits for me. For now- I'm a bit of a wandering soul.
But regardless of how happy and excited I am right now- I'm also frustrated, terrified, completely overwhelmed, and I still feel anxious most days. Why? Because my decisions affect the health of others. Because I'm still learning about, well, everything! Everyday I learn something awesome and new but everyday I have to meet with the multidisciplinary team and family and I have to be confident, in control, and provide answers. Not to mention I'm a charge nurse- so I have to provide guidance to aides and LPNs who honestly provide guidance to me more often than not right now!
I don't really have a point with this post. I just wanted to share my experience and my feelings to hopefully find some kindred spirits.
Nursing is fluid- it's changing and shifting constantly. Some nights I have to take a quick "bathroom break" to sob for 5 minutes because my ******* IV won't prime. Sometimes I go home grinning because I made a suggestion the docs went for and I was right! Most nights I go home with my head spinning with all the things I need to do right now to improve life for my residents! I love my enthusiasm and I hope it stays but I'd also like my brain to relax sometimes!
In closing- I guess I just want to thank allnurses for helping me through lots of trying times. I've landed in a great place an I'm so very thankful- and I hope to keep coming here (no longer as just a lurker, this is my first post ever!) and joining in stimulating discussion.
Am I competent? Do I have graditis? Am I too inexperienced to e in charge? Am I too young? Too confident? Too shy? Do I know enough? All these questions fly in and out of my mind, plus a whole lot more. How lucky am j that there is a place I can come where so many understand exactly how being a nurse is a struggle but also all they ever want to do.