i'm currently in the middle of separating myself from my immediate family. i have a younger brother and don't/want to have a relationship with him. i feel like i raised him when we were younger. my parents were so wrapped up into themselves and what they wanted and didn't have. my parents were/are poor. they manipulated people into giving them money. they would lie to get it.
my father is an alcoholic and my mother is so negative and such a downer-nothing will ever make her happy. when my brother and i were younger, i excelled in school/academics, art, music, dance, etc...the artsy stuff. my brother was the borne athlete. i too was athletic but only in the sense of dance, cheerleading, running, and swimming. my brother was revered a god. he was the end all be all of parental pride.
if he got a c they would praise him. i was expected to get straight a's and if i didn't i was grounded for months at a time. i got accepted into college and was told that i wasn't going to make it and they weren't going to send me money. i had to visit schools on my own or with my friends and their parents.
i was always left to do things on my own. i had to have a job in high school. my days consisted of going to school, coming home and cleaning the whole house, going to my part time job, coming home and studying and doing homework until about 12-1am. my father didn't feel that my mom and brother needed to do housework because she worked late and he played sports.
i stupidly co-signed for a car loan for my brother and now i'm taking him to court to garnish his wages. my parents have told me it's my fault that he defaulted on the loan. they feel sorry for him now that he doesn't have his car. he owes me $10,000 but they feel sorry for him?!?! :angryfire
i've stopped talking with them all and don't want to be bothered by them any more. they all used me for money, took money from me, used my name and credit to get cable and bank accounts. now at the age of 27 i'm just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with my credit.
i'm getting married to the most amazing person god could have blessed me to spend the rest of my life with. he and i are so connected on so many levels and he supports me and encourages me in everything i do, i'm so grateful. i'm not sure i want my family there at the wedding? i'm still trying to get through the hurt and pain of being treated like i never mattered. the one thing i'm grateful for is by them treating me that way, i'm the strongest person i know. i've lived out on my own for 5 years and have never failed and gone back home. i have a very good paying job with 2 doctors without a degree. this has helped me support myself without any help from others. that's empowerment to me. i know it'll take me a long time to 'get over' this. i have dreams about my parents and i arguing.
it'll be good in the end. i know i can do it.