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  1. I am a new nurse working in a sub acute rehab facility/LTC. I am typically assigned to care for 28 to 40 patients on midnights. I have been trying to get into a hospital but not having prior experiance or a BSN forced me to accept this job for experience. I have been concerned from the being with patient safety and the patient load I have. Awhile back I had a patient whom I was not familiar with. She had a trach site, on O2, with continuous tube feed, and a mental illness condition. Later the CNA said she told her she was having difficulty breathing. So I checked her spo2 I raised the HOB from 30 to 45 degrees and increased her o2 and the sp02 increased. I notified the doctor on call. When I later entered the room I noticed the patient looked really pale and asked if she was ok, the nurse replied "no she isn't, get a suction machine". I was in a panic, I thought "should I have suctioned her ?!?" I ran out to the find someone who knew where suction machine one and was told that there was one on the crash chart so I grabbed the crash chart and ran toward the room. When I came closer to the room someone said it was a code and to announce it on the overhead. I feel like I did not do all I could for her and I have been crying almost daily because of it. I even started smoking again after quitting 6 years ago. I can't sleep without sleeping pills and I see her pale face in my head over and over. I would love some honest opinions from more seasoned nurses on this event because I feel so horrible about what happened.