First id like to say that this may seem paranoid on my part but i dont know where else to ask where people wont just run off and tell my preceptor of what i said, dont get me wrong i'm not assuming that everyone gossips but i tried to ask another nurse on the floor if she knew anything about the situation, she said no and then later my preceptor brought it up.
so without further delay here is my problem, i graduated recently and got a job in a tiny broke town, figure id start wherever till i have experience to move up. i started eager to learn, in school they go over how to do a dressing lab values and that sort of thing right. well thats great but they never went over all the paper work, arrangements, med-vacs, and the little things that make up most of a nurses day. so here i am in this setting which i didnt do my clinical in, and my preceptor is getting frustrated i cant keep up with her pace. i feel apologies would land on deaf ears here since they wont make me faster when i did apologized she smiled at me and told me oh its ok, you will get faster with time, i felt so much better then but to this day she still makes comments that indirectly tell me im too slow for her pace.
today i felt like i was treated like yesterdays left over's i had 5 pt's 3 of which where super heavy, and 1 was pretty much 1:1 care. so its 4 am i finally sat down to do my chart checks and she comes up to me and she says those were suppose to be done by 12, i tried to explain my self to which she replied, i know and smiled. 5 mins later she comes up to me and says i dont care how slammed you are you are takeing the next admission. i didnt argue because that would have been a loseing battle. so the short of it is... im burned, i dont take breaks i dont eat lunch dinner snack, im grinding on metal here. i have no idea where to go from here. any advice is greatly appreciated... please dont mind the spelling.