I work with an excellent group of wonderful (and kind) nurses, so my jaw just drops when I hear stories like this. What I would say is that you need to clarify your wishes with your *provider*; nurses follow hospital protocol (like running pit after delivery), but it's not up to them to decide whether or not you should have it. When you refuse things like IVs or monitoring, you put the nurses in a bad position *unless you have decided that in advance with your provider* and the provider has written it into the orders.
I work at a University hospital where we do high risk deliveries of all kinds, but every one of our nurses will help a woman have a natural delivery if she wants it, has agreed with her provider, and if it is appropriate according to her individual circumstances.
Written birth plans are useful for you to use for a discussion with your provider; they are meaningless when waved in front of a nurses's face when you present in labor.