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ExquisiteRevelation

ExquisiteRevelation

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ExquisiteRevelation's Latest Activity

  1. ExquisiteRevelation

    Inner Peace

    i am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me...in today's hectic world we all could use a little calm. by following the simple advice i read in an article, i have finally found inner peace. the article read: "the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started." so. i looked around the house to see all the things i started and hadn't finished....and before leaving the house this morning i finished a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the bailey's, kahlua and crown royal, the prozac, some valium, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates. you have no idea how freaking good i feel!
  2. ExquisiteRevelation

    Her Encounter With A Photographer

    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  3. ExquisiteRevelation

    Silent Treatment

    mike and joan were having some problems at home and were giving each other the "silent treatment." then mike realized he'd need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning drive golf match with his friends. not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, "please wake me at 5:00 a.m." the next morning, mike woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he missed his golf match entirely. furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. the paper said, "it is 5:00 a.m. wake up."
  4. ExquisiteRevelation

    Laugh at the Pregnant Lady

    :chuckle
  5. ExquisiteRevelation

    ER pirate joke

    That joke is actually so bad it's funny! :chuckle
  6. ExquisiteRevelation

    Just One More Time Honey

    ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. given this prognosis, ralph asks his wife for sex. naturally, she agrees, and they make love. about six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "honey, you know i now have only 18 hours to live. could we please do it one more time?" of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. he touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "honey, please... just one more time before i die?" she says, "of course, dear." and they make love for the third time. after this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours. he taps his wife, who rouses. "honey, i have only 4 more hours. do you think we could...?" at this point the wife sits up and says, "listen ralph, i have to get up in the morning... you don't."
  7. ExquisiteRevelation

    Costello Calls to buy a PC from Abbott

    and you thought you get confused on your computer ........ with that in mind, bud abbott and lou costello's famous sketch of "who's on first?" might have turned out something like this: costello calls to buy a computer from abbott . abbott: super duper computer store. can i help you? costello: thanks. i'm setting up an office in my den and i'm thinking about buying a computer. abbott: mac? costello: no, the name's lou. abbott: your computer? costello: i don't own a computer. i want to buy one abbott: mac? costello: i told you, my name's lou. abbott: what about windows? costello: why? will it get stuffy in here? abbott: do you want a computer with windows? costello: i don't know. what will i see when i look in the windows? abbott: wallpaper. costello: never mind the windows. i need a computer and software. abbott: software for windows? costello: no. on the computer! i need something i can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. what have you got? abbott: office. costello: yeah, for my office. can you recommend anything? abbott: i just did. costello: you just did what? abbott: recommend something. costello: you recommended something? abbott: yes. costello: for my office? abbott: yes.. costello: ok, what did you recommend for my office? abbott: office. costello: yes, for my office! abbott: i recommend office with windows. costello: i already have an office with windows! ok, lets just say i'm sitting at my computer and i want to type a proposal. what do i need? abbott: word. costello: what word? abbott: word in office. costello: the only word in office is office. abbott: the word in office for windows. costello: which word in office for windows? abbott: the word you get when you click the blue "w". costello: i'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. ok, forget that. can i watch movies on the internet? abbott: yes, you'll want real one. costello: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. what i watch is none of your business. just tell me what i need! abbott: real one. costello: if it's a long movie i'll also want to see reels 2, 3 & 4. can i watch them? abbott: of course. costello: great! with what? abbott: real one. costello: ok, i'm at my computer and i want to watch a movie. what do i do? abbott: you click the blue "1". costello: i click the blue one what? abbott: the blue "1". costello: is that different from the blue w? abbott: the blue "1" is real one and the blue "w" is word. costello: what word? abbott: the word in office for windows. costello: but there's three words in "office for windows"! abbott: no, just one. but it's the most popular word in the world. costello: it is? abbott: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. it pretty much wiped out all the other words out there. costello: and that word is real one? abbott: real one has nothing to do with word. real one isn't even part of office. costello: stop! don't start that again. what about financial bookkeeping? you have anything i can track my money with? abbott: yes, money. costello: that's right. what do you have? abbott: money. costello: i need money to track my money? abbott: it already comes bundled with your computer costello: what's bundled with my computer? abbott: money. costello: money comes with my computer? abbott: yes. no extra charge. costello: i get a bundle of money with my computer? how much? abbott: one copy. costello: isn't it illegal to copy money? abbott: microsoft gave us a license to copy money. costello: they can give you a license to copy money? abbott: why not? they own it! click------------------- a few days later . . abbott: super duper computer store. can i help you? costello: how do i turn my computer off? abbott: click on "start"..........
  8. ExquisiteRevelation

    A blind man enters a ladies bar

    That's evil....but brilliant! :chuckle
  9. ExquisiteRevelation

    English in Non-English Countries

    That's one of the greatest ones I've ever seen! :roll:roll:roll
  10. ExquisiteRevelation

    This was so funny..you had to be there

    I just love the elderly...:chuckle
  11. ExquisiteRevelation

    What Types Of Patients Surgeons Like & Why

    That's a cute one! :rotfl: :rotfl:
  12. ExquisiteRevelation

    Student Nurse with Breast Cancer

    That pretty much sums it up for me. Good luck with everything!
  13. ExquisiteRevelation

    A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.

    Typical man! :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  14. ExquisiteRevelation

    Definition of the Heimlic Maneuver Redneck Style

    :chuckle Good One!
  15. ExquisiteRevelation

    You look terrible!!

    Haha! That's really cute! :chuckle
  16. ExquisiteRevelation

    Make's sense ;-)

    Those are really cute! :chuckle
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