@Ruby Vee Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story so transparently, I felt the mental and emotional turmoil so powerfully. Brought me to tears - so grateful your resilience is serving you on this new path.
I remember being in the hospital, twice I had allowed the father of the child to attend with me at the appointments, we had separated after a second incident of violence this one during my second pregnancy in front of my child. Someone on an online community made me realize with their own raw story and honest recounting just how deep I was in the abuse cycle and what I would be facing if I left without the protection of a TRO to address custody. I was still so “in love” and wanting to keep our family unified in some way that I would never have thought to do this and yet I have no doubt that was a precious gift that changed the course of my life. Thank you for sharing your story, that person will never know but she may have saved my life, and she certainly protected me and my children from devolving into his power to manipulate and control us. You may have done the same with your story of resilience, strength, and courage.
Your story struck me to respond because in the hospital twice during admission I was asked if there was any history of abuse or violence ... I allowed him to be present for these appointments so how could I answer honestly? I was safe, I was separated, I was legally protected and stable in my home environment, but if I needed any support, I could not have sought it then and I will always wonder if any one could be helped by more open ended questions in private. In my new life, I was asked these same types of question in front of my husband, thankfully I am truly safe now but still disheartening that not much has changed - across 13 years and 3 hospitals and a multitude of doctor’s appointments no one has ever truly “asked” me if I was or felt safe at home in a manner I could answer if I chose.