I have been working in oncology/BMT for the better part of four years...and I love it! Palliative care has become my passion while working in this field. I think it is an honor and very special to be able to help someone in their last days or be able to help their family through such a difficult time.
Since May my husband's grandfather has been ill. He has had CML for 10 years, and was told over two years ago there was nothing else that could be done for him. He Has a multitude of other co-morbidities that are not helping his condition. My husband and I are the closest family members and such have ended up being the main caregivers along with his wife, my husbands grandmother.
Throughout my career in this field I have cared for many dying patients, and have a hard time when they have families that do not come see them or refuse to attempt to understand what is happening.
I completely understand that denial is a big part of the dying process, but I hate to see people suffer, I want to make sure that is their last moments they are not moaning in pain or gasping for air.
And lately I have been living my worst nightmare. My husband's grandparents have 8 children ...only two of which would come to visit, before I called and spoke to the rest explaining the end was coming. The rest came reluctantly.
This past Thursday we enrolled him in hospice care and brought him home...over the past day or so he has gotten to the point of moaning, grimacing, and rarely being awake, and if he is he does not make much sense.
This morning he was moaning much more than I had ever heard him before. I spoke with grandma who let me give him a dose of morphine. The hospice nurse came about an hour later and gave him another dose, after which he seemed comfortable. Later in the day it started back up again and grandma is refusing to allow us to give him anymore morphine.
My husband tried to talk to her, her two children that are here tried to talk to her, but she would say it is too early in the night to give him something.
I guess I just needed to vent to people that would understand. I plan to talk to her in the morning when I get out of work to see why she doesn't want him to have anything and if I can calm her any, and probably call the hospice nurse as well.
Thanks for listening!