I have some things to add... since I was in your shoes... I lived through one heinous orientation... My second week I was told, "As long as I'm your preceptor...you're going to be my b*tch!!!" It went downhill from there...and the comments stayed the same... I could have actually sued her and the hospital for a clear cut hostile work environment. I finally, after a year and a half, left my unit and went to another ICU. I put up with it but cried many nights, hated going into work, wanted to quit all the time. I knew it wasn't me. In the last six months, 7 day-shift nurses have left the unit. I snagged another critical care job in our hospital on a unit where a day-shift slot only becomes available every three years...yet there's a "nursing shortage" down the hall on my old unit... administration hasn't ever questioned this... go figure... I was afraid I'd lose my job if I reported her... I found many errors on my orientation (like autotransfusions running directly without a filter...) We have an error reporting system that is anonymous... I was told if I reported anything "they" would find out who did and it would be the quickest way for me to lose my job. I was told perform MRSA swabbing "very lightly" so my preceptor wouldn't "have to wear plastic all day..." I was told "You can't multitask... but don't worry, you'll never be able to because men CAN'T multitask..." I took a scholarship from the hospital and wanted to fulfill my contract, although I could have had it null and voided because of the experience had I engaged an attorney...I probably could have retired on that. But I didn't want to take that route. I can't say I recommend sticking it out in a toxic environment. I can say you are not the only one having a terrible first nursing experience. I plugged away and dealt with it. In under two years I had my CCRN, and then my CSC and my CMC and I am now the only nurse in the hospital who is CCRN-CMC-CSC. I am going to get the last laugh because I just found out two days ago that I was accepted to anesthesia school at one of the country's top programs. "Ciaoskis" former preceptor!:chuckle "I'll be seeing you layta!"
You are not alone in your experience. My issue was this... it is hard to get anywhere being in the position of putting anyone else down. I felt that if I tried to interview for another job I would have to say "why" in an interview... and then I would have to disclose my situation... and in doing so, I thought it would just make me look bad...leaving the interviewer to worry if it were me or if it were really the hospital (maybe I'd be seen as a complainer or problem)...so I figured I'd wait and then have my experience and a clear cut transfer/exit strategy after being off orientation. Then when I got off orientation everything changed. I still had problems with her... but they were minimized because I had my own patients and developed strong alliances with other supportive nurses who served as my resource. Then I started working my schedule opposite hers so I could minimize my contact with her. That made a huge difference.
Because of the poor quality of my orientation and my strong desire to learn I did a lot of the orienation myself. Make a list of all your equipment and manufacturers of such... we use Edwards swans and arterial line sets, we use Datascope IABPs, we use NxStage CRRT, we use Atrium chest tube set-ups. Go to all the manufacturer's websites. Example: edwards.com, atriummed.org, datascope.com, nxstage.com...These companies all have inservice audiovisual training via the web... go to pacep.org, atriumuniversity.com... You will learn more from the manufacturers than any preceptor. A lot of nurses do things the way they were taught because that's how "we always did it." However, you will find a lot of manufacturer's recommendations are different. I do it the way the manufacturer recommends. Soon I had the sane nurses asking me about equipment. I was teaching them. I made a habit of everytime I opened a piece of equipment, whether an autotransfusion pack or an ETT hollister, of putting the manufacturer's pamphlet in my scrub pocket, keepin it in my bag with other resources and taking it to and from work with me. I'd read them thoroughly at home. You'll find no one on the unit has ever read them... and chances are you will learn something about the device that is unknown to other nurses on the unit. It all comes down to how good you want to be.
You are in a terrible position. That resonates with me because I was in the same position. If you want this bad enough and are not going to another unit or hospital...you will need to take responsibility to educate yourself to make up for the inadequacies of your hospital's culture. You'll end up a better nurse in the end.
Finally, in January, JCAHO is requiring that there be in place, at all accredited facilities, a disciplinary plan for toxic behavior among healthcare team members whether horizontal violence among or between nurses or anyone else up and down the medical food chain. You can find this on JCAHO's website. You may want to float this by the CEO of the hospital... maybe they don't know about it yet. They will not have a choice in compliance if they want to keep their JCAHO status. Enforcing it is another story... but at least you can make sure the hospital is ramping up to deal with it.
Best of luck to you. You have my support whatever you decide. But if you stay...just know this orientation process is going to be, in the scheme of things, a very short time during a hopefully long and successful career...I chose to get the experience I needed and then moved on. You may move on earlier... but ABSOLUTELY DO NOT let a nasty nurse or toxic unit pollute your enthusiasm for the art and craft of nursing and/or critical care itself. Know it is not the norm, and when ready, seek out another unit... despite what they tell you... it is NOT the same everywhere!!!!