I have learned so MUCH from my patients, often they are the heros.
I was in Nursing school, and my first patient was 32 years old, the mother of two children a boy and a girl. Thinking back I believe they could not have been any older than seven or eight years old.
The father would bring the children in every night to see their mother, She was such a gentle and caring mother.
My patient was dying of cancer, My first patient! I could not get over how kind she was to all of the staff, I knew she had to be in incredible pain. This was the most diffficult time I ever had as a Nurse, It was then, I felt how cruel and unfair life could be. She was so young, and even with the amount of pain she was in she always remained so gentle and kind, today even I don't believe I can say I have met any one sick or well that would be her equal.
The day she died I cried like a baby. The other Nurses actually made fun of me that I took it so hard. It was because of her and the treatment from the other Nurses I swore to be the best Nurse I could be and I prayed that I never became so accoustomed or harden from Nursing that I didn't feel something when one of my patients died.
I know that dieing is the natural order and process of life, but I believe that when we fail to feel anything, we can't really be capable of caring and providing good quality Nursing. With time I learned to handle it much better, but it never ceased to effect me, for that I would like to believe made me a better Nurse.