I'm sorry this is so long...
So I'm here to vent. I felt like I had the worst day in my life the last day I was at work, and as I had thought it was going to to be the last day that I had worked on the unit for the time being. I started out working in a MICU as a new grad. I didn't have a doubt in my mind that I could not succeed in there as a new grad.
My preceptor was impatient from the first day, expecting me to know what line I should push drugs given theres about 5 IV lines to choose from, my first day, impatient, and pretty much made me feel lower then low and it shot my confidence and I wasn't myself at work , I hardly talked to people, I had no confidence, and it just continued, she made me very nervous, and made me feel very stupid.
So had a meeting with the manager of the unit, my preceptor, and they were saying that I was doing my job with no pride, and with no emotion and not taking anything seriously, and I admit when I worked I felt like a zombie there because thats just how I ended up feeling from all of the putdowns with no encouragement, no support, no nothing, nothing positive. So I wasn't quite aware how to get out that "zombie" frame of mind, but the meeting helped and my eyes were opened, and the next few weeks at work were a lot better.
So my preceptor caught me about to make 2 drug errors in those weeks and I had a hard time remembering things in there, its like my mind when blank, and I couldn't remember easy things it was horrible, I recorded a wrong number my preceptor caught, and then I hung a wrong fluid it was a potassium chloride 20 meqs ina 1000ml bag, it was just a maintenance fluid bag, I never knew of that fluid , i ddin't know they had that as maintenance fluid , I hung potassium d5/ns instead of just ns, not knowing there were different potassium fluids. I knew that was the last draw and that I was going to be transferred. Also I was leaving the unit about an hour late every shift, my time management, was not coming together. So I have a meeting coming up this week and I know I'm going tobe transferred, I'm very dissapointed I worked so hard, and was sure I could tackle the ICU as a new grad, maybe part my preceptors effect on me still lingered affecting my practice and also maybe I just was not ready for the sensory overload of the ICU as a new grad....I'm sorry it was so long, but I had to vent. I'm sure I will be transferring to floor, hopefully a cardiac step down or something if possible.