It is your dream so catch it! Don't beat up on yourself because it is hard and everything is not easy for everybody. Get help because it can be the instructors that you are not getting and making it harder than it is. Find a format for you to understand it and come out correct. You can do it, you will stand in the rain and get wet because that is life, however the sun will shine and it will be brighter. The world and everything that's in it is yours if you want it.