Hi yall, I could use some advice.
I am currently taking my final course before I graduate and am going into my second to last clinical rotation.
Background: I am a student with ADHD that receives accommodations from my school's ADA officer. I have had ADHD since I was 13 years old and I have never once used it as an excuse because that simply isn't what it is. It is a unique difference in my brain, thought pattern, and learning/studying style in comparison to others. In fact, it is what many instructors have told me will make me a fantastic nurse, I have never had things easy for me. I have always had to study twice as hard and try six times as hard as the average student to obtain decent grades. This has given me so much resilience.
I have been in clinical settings since 2019 which a wide variety of different clinical instructors. I have never had a problem with any of them until this current instructor. Keep in mind that this instructor has known me for 2 full days and only known me for a maximum of 4 hours in total. She does know about my ADHD because the school sends out my accommodations.
I'm insanely frustrated and feel beaten down at this time. My instructor told me on Friday that she is not satisfied with my abilities and need to stop using my ADHD as an excuse and do better. What provoked this you may ask? I got distracted and jokingly said, ADHD probs then returned to my task because I felt the need to address my distraction. Me saying I cannot focus because I have ADHD is not an excuse, it is a statement, a true statement. In the clinical setting, I tend to ask for clarification to ensure that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. This helps me to fully understand what is expected of me because sometimes I miss part of an instruction or hear the wrong thing. So it is important to me to ask for clarification. She wrote down that I am progressing with reminders, which is ironic because she has never once reminded me to do anything. I go to her and ask her to confirm, she tells me yes if I understood correctly and no if I did not. That is not her actively looking for me on the unit and having to remind me to check on my patient or a task.
On top of that, there was a girl in my clinical group that didn't know how to do anything patient care wise. So once I finished with my patient, I went with her to show her how to do everything under the sun. She didn't know how to use the BP machines, nor what a MAP was, how to put a patient on a bedpan, change the patients chucks, etc. I had no problem showing her how to do these things, but of course I receive no credit whatsoever from my instructor. My instructor refuses to acknowledge anything I have done correctly and instead tells me all of my weaknesses at one time and tells me I am not doing my best and need to do better, "you understand?"
On top of all of that, she kept reinforcing the fact that I need to do better and I'm not doing good enough. Giving me now credit from this point forward for anything I have actually done well. This is extremely discouraging to me because I know I provide fantastic patient-centered care. I am constantly receiving compliments from patients and patient family members for how well I am taking care of their loved ones.
The reminder thing- Sometimes, she doesn't give a clear instruction to the point I ask the girls in my clinical what we are supposed to be doing and none of us have a clue so I go to ask her to clarify my understanding so I don't do something I am not supposed to be doing. this is what she classifies as "reminders," I approach HER to clarify. That is not a reminder to me.
It really frustrates me because I try so hard and it isn't recognized at all.