even if she hates being pushed on right now (it needs to be done)....hopefully one day she will see the benefit of helping her child become more independent.
personally i don't want my type 1 diabetic kid to live with me forever (or my other kid who is 4 and wakes up and climbs into my bed often at night). one day i'll miss them but also one day i will enjoy being an empty nester and not reminding my children to wash their hands, dose for food, don't leave your toys in the living room or the dog will eat them etc etc.
my 23 year old brother still lives with my mother, doesn't have his drivers license, and I am not sure if he will ever move out. thank goodness he at least works but guess who takes him to and from everywhere...yup my mom. he was born with multiple health issues. was on ECMO and didn't come home until he was 3 months old I believe. when he did come home it was with a feeding tube, oxygen, heart monitor. his diaphragm didn't form completely and his organs were in the wrong places, lungs full of fluid, not fully developed, heart murmur, and his soft palate didn't form, bowel issues ( I can't remember all the technical terms for what happened it was just a random thing that happened to him and they knew when he was still in the womb so they were prepared when he was born to intervene). he is perfectly healthy now aside from asthma flare ups and he eats like garbage and has zero physical activity. anyway my point in sharing this story is, i have seen what it looks like to not push your chronically ill child to be independent and to coddle them. while it sucked he had to go through all that as a baby and had multiple surgeries as a child he could be totally independent of my mother now. fingers crossed one day she will push him to move out!