Greeze

Hi New and prospective RN Grads, This is a note to you from the future. What they've written is true even if in the moment you might not fully realize it. However, you'll eventually move on to greener pastures. The experience will be difficult and even if you quit early you'll have learnt important lessons for your career. Somedays all you can muster is one more week. One more shift. One more hour. I started out RN journey desperate and frankly grateful to have a job after applying and hoping and waiting and hoping. Let this be a lesson that you need to apply early and start interviewing ASAP. And now to the very important part. Yes, I broke my contract early. I finished 1.5yrs of it and unexpectedly welcomed a baby in the middle of the pandemic. It taught me to look out for myself, that this isn't it. Even if there is a tight bond with the coworkers I cannot sacrifice my body and mental health for this company. No, no one has come after me or any of the RN that quit as earliest as 4weeks. Keep track of your "training" which will undoubtedly have a few canceled classes and unfulfilled promises. Good luck to anyone entering floor nursing during this time. I'm happy to answer questions.

I wear old scrubs for cleaning and errands around the house as well. When going out I will only wear the bottoms with a tshirt. I don't think it's a good idea to wear full scrubs outside. I've see people in full scrubs at grocery store and even I cringe and hope they are on the way to work. My previous job we wore a large thick lab coat so I felt pretty safe I wasn't carrying anything contagious but still felt weird in public. Not everyone feels the same way. I don't think it should be acceptable to wear hospital scrubs outside. I try to wear a jacket if I'm stopping by somewhere to protect my patients. Sometimes you don't know what kind of patients you'll be taking care of and what kind of pathogen you're bringing to them.

To anyone interested: Currently, I'm doing well at my hospital job after I've given up actually caring about patient care and just focused on getting through the day with scheduled meds and making sure everyone eats when they need to eat, not eat when they shouldn't and pee when they should pee. It's a horrible view and I'm sure great nurses out there are ashamed of the type I've become. In the beginning I tried my best to complete every assessment, listen to every patient and turn every patient that couldn't (even doing passive ROM!) and I ended up leaving hours late in the day still feeling incompetent. I'd barely know my patient besides the initial assessment because I'd be so behind and other nurses kept getting upset because my report was subpar and it didn't include info/notes I should have been reading through. Unfortunately I adapted and not in a good way I, myself as a student or new nurse would have admired. Unfortunately, I'm considered a new nurse that has done well post-oreintation. Fortunately, I know my limits and have enough skill to keep my patients alive or transfer them to higher acuity when I know I can't. The Rapid Response Nurses actually like me as I recognize a circling drain and actually in my patients room enough I catch them very early. I can't say I'd be great in a code Blue but I'll be doing something which is more than I can say just months prior. Charge nurses think I'm dependable as I can manage my 6 patient set without having a VISIBLE mental health breakdown and I'm not horribly late on meds to get complaints or poked someone with lovenox when they have scheduled surgery and I run fast enough to bed alarms no grandma is breaking her hip. Sad state of affairs overall. I'm well liked by other staff and they enjoy working with me or after me but I still harbor the thought I want to leave every, it's just further back of my mind and I just get through each shift telling myself to get through one more day and you're fine. Any advancement in my skill set I've very slowly gained and in no way would I say I'm a competent nurse ready to go out in any situation. I'm not alone in all this. They might not have the same thoughts and view as me but only 2 other resident nurses have stayed on fulltime on my unit. In the program MANY resident nurses left ealry and found great, better paying jobs. Some left mid-program and some are leaving now. No one has reported back that they were chased regarding the Contract payment. It was a shambles of a program and we never finished our supposed schedule and covid also complicated things to where they never even bothered to attempt to tie things off. I believe we're still being promoted and getting our raises for surviving our 1 year anniversary. I'm afraid to tell new grads out there to not care too much about their contracts but it seems to not have mattered in my situation. While I was writing my initial posts here scared about being on my own, other new grads were putting in applications and getting better jobs or sharing their misery together while I drowned alone. Stay or get out? All I can say is be prepared and don't give too much *** about anything, it's not the end of the world.

How did the hospital react and did they go after you for the contract? Was there a conversation?

Thank you the update, I see a few topics but never the end result. I'm a new grad just beginning my career and I'm terrified of the future and what may happen. I'm currently in a residency program and I have a 2yr contract. Recently I've been on the extremes of emotional suppression and then bursting out crying when I'm alone. I hate it. I want to survive this 1st year so badly. Then I know I can survive the 2nd year even if I cry everyday. I really want it to work out but I can't imagine myself competent to care for a 6 patient load when I've been only handing 3 so far. After 5weeks I was told by other nurses I should already be able to take a full load and I feel deeply ashamed that I cannot and have not tried. My mind cannot imagine how would it could even be possible at my current level. Finally I put my embarrassment aside and I asked for another week. I was terrified to speak up because other new grads seem to be going with the flow even though they also said they didn't feel ready. I see it as me just the only drowning and everyone is wading water around me saying they feel the same. I can see how negative I am being but how is 3 more shift going to make enough difference to be on my own? In any case, the question I wanted to know was: how did you resign and the hospital's reaction to breaking contract. How did it all go down? I don't want to break contract but it seems near impossible and I wonder if the same happens if I am fired for being incompetent with my patient load. How would I even breach this topic with the hospital or my manager? The thought makes me panic. I don't have money to right away pay back.