Thank you the update, I see a few topics but never the end result. I'm a new grad just beginning my career and I'm terrified of the future and what may happen. I'm currently in a residency program and I have a 2yr contract.
Recently I've been on the extremes of emotional suppression and then bursting out crying when I'm alone. I hate it. I want to survive this 1st year so badly. Then I know I can survive the 2nd year even if I cry everyday.
I really want it to work out but I can't imagine myself competent to care for a 6 patient load when I've been only handing 3 so far. After 5weeks I was told by other nurses I should already be able to take a full load and I feel deeply ashamed that I cannot and have not tried. My mind cannot imagine how would it could even be possible at my current level.
Finally I put my embarrassment aside and I asked for another week. I was terrified to speak up because other new grads seem to be going with the flow even though they also said they didn't feel ready. I see it as me just the only drowning and everyone is wading water around me saying they feel the same. I can see how negative I am being but how is 3 more shift going to make enough difference to be on my own?
In any case, the question I wanted to know was: how did you resign and the hospital's reaction to breaking contract. How did it all go down?
I don't want to break contract but it seems near impossible and I wonder if the same happens if I am fired for being incompetent with my patient load. How would I even breach this topic with the hospital or my manager? The thought makes me panic. I don't have money to right away pay back.