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CatRescuer223

CatRescuer223

Cardiac, Med-Surg
New New Nurse
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CatRescuer223 specializes in Cardiac, Med-Surg.

CatRescuer223's Latest Activity

  1. CatRescuer223

    My career is costing me my mental health and I am afraid

    Update: i grew some balls and left that crazy hospital. On a whim, I applied for an open position as a school nurse. When contacted, it turned out the position was at my old high school I took the job, and I’ve been there for about 2.5 months now. I’m the ESE nurse so I have 36 kids and manage any/all medical situations for them. I have my own office and a supportive supervisor and team of teachers/administrators. I’m happy at my job. The kids love me and I’ve found a new passion! I have always wanted to work in advocacy roles, and I can finally do this! I love being able to watch the progress these kids make each day and I’m there to stand up for the ones who don’t have a voice (& need one). Unfortunately, they need me to intervene in this way... but FORTUNATELY I’m the one who’s there to do it, without fear! My work anxiety is minimal and I feel well supported. My job has meaning and purpose to me, finally! No more tears!!!
  2. CatRescuer223

    My career is costing me my mental health and I am afraid

    @WhitneyPeavler My boss is already coming after me for PTSD related issues— I was assigned without my choice to the “before” hurricane team- and expressed to her that due to my ptsd I cannot be away from home like it was required- I would end up in the ER for panic episodes (which already happened at work one unrelated time!) I told her I was more than happy to work the “after” team- but no one would switch with me, even after calling the whole list of staff to that unit... I told her I didn’t feel safe reporting to work knowing full well I would end up having a panic attack/flashbacks. It also would not have been to the benefit of my patients. I told her since the switch could not be made, I would not be reporting. I provided medical documentation. Now (over a month later) she’s calling me in “about the hurricane issue” to sit with her and our ACNO. I’m not sure what’s going to come of the meeting- but in short, my boss is not approachable, nor accommodating to mental health issues/disabilities. I suppose my best bet is HR but I’m afraid that my boss has everyone out for me already now.
  3. CatRescuer223

    My career is costing me my mental health and I am afraid

    @Workitinurfava I am not sure. I was not given a proper orientation to this facility/job, and because I work Overnights I do not have access to much of our teams/resources
  4. CatRescuer223

    My career is costing me my mental health and I am afraid

    My boss is about as warm as a cactus. I’m not entirely sure how I would get to my resources. I also work nights- and I wasn’t really oriented so I’m never sure how to go for what I need...
  5. CatRescuer223

    My career is costing me my mental health and I am afraid

    One month later- I’m still at the job. My family doesn’t seem to “get” how much I hate it... they keep telling me to stick it out and get at least a year & try to transfer. My last shift (Monday) I was verbally abused by a patient. He made me cry, but not until I left the room, of course. I found myself wondering- if that patient knew that this job makes me want to kill myself, would he have been so harsh? (He yelled, and cursed at me and called me worthless and untrustworthy for bringing his medication late— I had 7 patients including him, and it was not an urgent medication, which I explained to him. Of course he didn’t give a d*mn). I plan to approach my boss (or maybe even above her) and ask to transfer to another unit besides mine, but my night team is good AND my hospital has limited options outside of abusive Med-Surg (just psych, ER, and L&D)... none it which are usually open to new grads there. I don’t want to violate my contract and owe multiple thousands of dollars I don’t have. I just... I don’t know what to do. I wish it was easier.
  6. Hi. Newly licensed BSN Grad here. Got my license 10/2018, in Florida. Didn’t secure a job until early 2019. I graduated at the top of my class, Cum Laude- the only one to graduate with honors(!) as a member of 5 honors societies and special recognition for 500+ volunteer hours in an animal shelter while I studied as an undergrad. I have a long-standing history of generalized anxiety, major depression, suicide attempts x3, PTSD, and cerebral palsy related to preterm birth and subsequent brain hemorrhage. I am currently in counseling and have been on and off for almost half my life, cumulatively. I work in a busy med-surg unit whose main focus is Cardiac observation (pre/post ablation, pace maker, etc), but we are still a med surg unit, so we get all kinds of random cases too. I work the night shift- and let me also state that I have great charge nurses and helpful staff and my anxiety is NOT related to being a new nurse or fear of mistakes. I know I can go to my team, and when i am unsure, I ask, no matter how minor it may seem. My anxiety stems from 2 things. The first being, I feel like I have no control. No matter how much we do right, management is up our butts— the white board wasn’t filled out fast enough, you didn’t take your break/took it too late into the shift- but they send home nurses between 11pm—1 am and redistribute the assignment, throwing 7 patients at us, and then wonder why we can’t take our breaks. Maybe because I had to do 2 admissions and also do the admission that day shift didn’t finish! Most days, I dread going to work. I did not understand our call out sick policy and I ended up working with a 101.1 degree fever, three days in a row, sick for 2.5 weeks. I ended up reporting to a shift, so short of breath that I got sent to the ER... but I felt like I couldn’t call out because I misunderstood our policy (I thought we had to make up any/all call outs, but it’s only for weekends, but you only have 4 call outs available per year without getting points, whatever that means...). I am also in a 2 year new graduate contract that demands money if we quit or get fired- so finding another job feels like an unattainable option... I feel like this job doesn’t allow me to take care of myself or have control in my life. I feel like I’m drowning- I am scared. The second reason being, i feel my depression creeping in- almost as bad as it was when I was at my worst and attempted suicide following an abusive relationship and surviving 200+ counts of rape and violence. This job feels just as mentally, physically and emotionally draining as that period of my life. I don’t even feel like a person when I go to work. I feel like a body, who is merely there to perform tasks, and more tasks, and more tasks. I often get heavy assignments. Total care patients and patients who are combative- being disabled (CP, as mentioned above) makes both of these situations hard because my risk for injury is higher. I’m easily knocked off balance by a 280 pound actively drunk guy, but he was assigned to me... so I took care of him as best I could without getting kicked/knocked down. I’m anxious before every shift. There are days I dread getting out of bed, or even being alive. It’s horrible because I have a lot in my life to be thankful for and I’m loved by my family, boyfriend, and friends... but this job. Jesus. It’s sucking the life out of me. And it’s a battle I don’t want to lose. Does anyone out there have advice? I’m trying to get into grad school so I can stay optimistic while I ride out the remaining 20 months of this contract- but sometimes the idea of staying at this job feels like I’ll be pre-signing my death certificate. I don’t know how much more I can take this. I really. Really. Need any wisdom, please
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