My brother & I had placed our dearly loved aunt in a small home facility. She had severe dementia. When she called me screaming one night, saying that the aids were hitting her, I was close to going down there & committing mayhem. The aid tore the phone away from her & told me that my aunt was hitting them. I told her if anyone even gave her a dirty look, they would have to deal with me personally. We moved her to another facility in the next few hours. We had put her under supervision because she roamed & even living with family, she would get away from us. I had already lost an uncle who had left his nursing home, saying he was going home. We found his body 2 weeks later broiling in the hot August sun & I was not going through that again. I made it my business to tell each facility who I was, what I was, & what kind of care I expected. The first facility was chosen by my brother against my better judgement. When we placed her in the second facility, I was much more confident in the quality of care. This is what bothers me. We place our loved ones because we can’t care for them ourselves, their care is overwhelming & we feel extremely guilty doing it. It was for her safety & our peace of mind. Do not place your elderly anywhere that your gut tells you not to. I agreed the first time to avoid family BS & to this day, I regret it. The second place was lovely & she was happy there. I’m just sad that she went through that. She didn’t remember but I do !