Hi, everyone. I am in desperate need of some input, advice or support.
I am making a career change, but struggling a little with some feedback I received from my primary care doctor. I had mentioned that I was nervous about seeing a psychiatrist because I was afraid of the results and how that might impact my future goals (my primary care doctor recently directed me to see a psychiatrist so that I could get diagnosed and put on a treatment plan). Her medication, Lexapro and Paxil, and other medications in the past, Zoloft, Prozac and Wellbutrin have not worked. She responded to my concern basically saying that it isn't about what I want, it is more so that I simply can't be in those jobs (with a history of mental health). So backstory, I am currently taking prereqs in hopes of applying to nursing school in a couple of years once those requirements are met. My initial bachelors was not very science heavy, so I am taking my time as to not overwhelm myself. It is no surprise to me that I have struggled with mental illness for most of my life and I know I need to get myself healthy before I embark on this new journey. I'm not sure she meant harm by it, but it really discouraged me and made me upset. I had mentioned that I thought I was Bipolar (she doesn't believe I am since antidepressants usually heightens Bipolar symptoms) and that I watched a show that mentioned Intermittent Explosive Disorder and how I believed I had something similar. I told her that I sometimes get angry at my husband for a chore that isn't done properly, but never indicated any sign of domestic abuse or anything like that. Again, I haven't been diagnosed and this was a Netflix show, nothing serious. I was simply confiding in her and felt comfortable opening up.
Basically, I am required to see a psychiatrist and nervous for the results. I am sure there are plenty of nurses with severe depression and anxiety, but what if I find out I have something more severe in addition to those two? Borderline Personality Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder? Something involving anger management?
I want to add I have no criminal record whatsoever, I have never been terminated from a job or had behavioral issues at school or work. I have never suffered from substance abuse issues and I rarely drink alcohol. My coping mechanism is food.
Honestly, if you didn't know me that well, you would think I was healthy and happy. I have no hallucinations, I know I'm not schizophrenic or a narcissist, I'm just afraid of Borderline.
Sooo...if I take these steps to get treated by a psychiatrist and spend the next couple of years finishing my prereqs and getting healthy, will the BON in my state (I know it varies, but VA and CA are most feasible) deny me? I will be honest, I don't want to go through with schooling another 4+ years and accumulate more student debt if this isn't an option for me. It is a passion of mine and I believe it would help my overall well being, a purpose. I know I've had this calling for a while, but never pursued it because I wasn't confident in my abilities. Please, any help appreciated!