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    The hospital was busier than ever on the intensive care unit. My arms were jello from giving non-stop chest compressions. A gunshot victim, myocardial infarction, and a blood force trauma to the head. My day wasn't even halfway over with. I still had 9 more hours to go. I skipped breakfast this morning on a rush. Once I had the chance, I made a run for the vending machines located in the front lobby. Those were better than the ones we had back in the lounge.

    I made my way through the lobby filled with cries, bells, and alarms. The 18-year-old who sustained the head injury from driving off the highway and into a tree had expired. Today was his last birthday. We tried all we could to bring him back. I administered three rounds of epinephrine myself. My limbs were numb from assisting the code team. After doing this for so long, it all feels like work. Sometimes I have to remember that my assignments are humans with families who are affected by every decision that we make. It can be a huge burden when you dwell on it. But this was my passion. Not to be a bore physician who doesn’t know how to start an IV. But a nurse because during the 23rd hour and 55th minute of the day, it won’t be the doctor saving your life, it’ll be one of us.

    I stood in front of the vending machines in deliberation as to what would be for lunch.

    “Honeybun or KitKat? Honey Bun bun or the Kit to the Kat, hmmm. Decisions. Decisions….” I stood bouncing my hips from side to side to help my thinking. It was my I’m starving dance. 

    “Honeybun. Definitely a honeybun.” suggested from a low husky voice. I smirked. I guess I’ve created a line with my deliberating. So much, that someone decided to give me a hand in my decision. 

    “Honeybun it is,” without turning to face my advisor, I took my time pressing the wrinkles out my dollar against the side of the machine. Then after bending over to retrieve my lunch, I turned. “Thanks for the assistance...” Oh, Shango!

    Breathe Cala.

      A rush of adrenaline flooding my veins, enabling me to stand erect before the marvelous creation of a man. I faced the mountain, unable to unthaw from my eye gawking mesmerized state. Only able to stand eye level to his broad, physically appealing chest. This was no ordinary man. This was a sharp-dressed God! Damn! The sleeves of his maroon buttoned shirt casually rolled, showing off the definition of his thick veiny forearms. Vein porn! A two-toned grey tie that hinted at his granite grey slacks. 

    Breathe.

    I adjusted my neck to look up to his gorgeous face when the intoxicating clean, crisp scent of mahogany and freshwater invaded my small nostrils. Capturing my soul with his potion. I drug my eyes up to his beautiful chiseled face. Stubble beard along his strong defined jawline, that was neatly trimmed. He was beautiful...the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Insanely, intensely, inhumanly beautiful.

    Breathe.

     My eyes locked onto his lips. They appeared soft as velvet. Parting his mouth, he slid the tip of his tongue gently across his soft flesh. Divine. Remember to breathe.

    My breathing became audible. I was mouth breathing. Stop mouth breathing. His eyes, enticingly grey and mesmerizing. They burned deeply into mine as I stood before him envisioning my entire life as his wife. Yes, I did. Short, chocolate, luxurious hair. Just enough for my fingers to glide through. I could feel my heart pumping. I could feel the blood traveling through my vena cava artery and out to the rest of my unsteady body. My stomach churned as it did in high school when I had a crush. Butterflies? Sure but this was the migration of Monarchs. My shaky knees gave out and I colloid into his chest. I was holding my breath.

    “Are you ok?” his throaty voice, slightly worried, vibrated against my skin.

    Really Cala? No! I’m not ok, I was touching him. The closeness of him was far too intense for my unsteady state. I’m a ***ing dweeb. He placed his hand at the small of my back, causing me to tense all over. Sending uncontrolled throbs into my groin. His hand settled in comfortably on my back. He was so unnaturally relaxed. 

    Breathe dammit!

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