I do not at all miss mine. I tried very hard to destroy my life with mine and now that I am on the other side of it all, I hate my DOC with a burning passion. It took me to lows I never thought I would see all the while convincing me it was better down there. When I think back to how I felt in the darkest days of my addiction, I get sick to my stomach. All of the hurt. humulation and reject I've received after seeking help is like a warm summer's breeze compared to the monster that was my DOC. I do not for one minute miss the scared, sneaky, and terrible person I was when I was on it. All the time spent back up against a dark corner feeling like there was no way out. For me it started as self medicating for depression/ anxiety in which i was extremely ineffective in treating as I soon would rather just stop breathing than to go on. Not for one second do I ever miss that. From the other side of it, life is still a struggle yes, but I am putting in the good fight. And I would NEVER go back.
That all being said, the lizard brain part of me does still miss that wonderful chemical reaction that takes place. The driving force of addiction that continues to torture us beyond the rehabs and meetings. The looming thoughts of "just one more time" when things get tough in life. But as a human with a human brain, we can stomp out the lizard pieces and remind ourselves it's all a illusion. That the DOC will always try to convince us that it's our friend when its holding a knife to our throat. Sobriety is a choice we must make every day, not just while we need to check into affinity. Sure a relapse in the program can ruin our professional life and hurt our wallets a bit, but a relapse can be a formal invitation for our DOC to set up camp in our lives again. Fear of losing a career is scary, but the fear of losing my life back to my DOC is hell.