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BSN89's Latest Activity

  1. Oh my goodness, you all are SO incredible. I cannot even tell you how much your responses have given back to me...that experience all but collapsed every ounce of my self-worth. Thank you for all for helping to build me back up
  2. I am literally in tears reading responses. Thank you so very much Thank you so very much for this reply, I cannot tell you how helpful this is and how much it means. Truly.
  3. Thank you for your feedback and encouragement. To answer your questions, my other clinicals have gone wonderfully. I have very positive and strong feedback from every other rotation and have been a very strong student for the other settings/interactions. I think the pressure got to me this week but I do also feel completely unprepared and not par for where a 5th semester student should be. The thought of having to face my instructor and knowing I had a complaint against me absolutely kills me. I have a lot of eyes on me, being such a previously strong performer. I have been such a perfectionist and killed myself to be a strong student, that I feel I can not muster up the strength to combat such a poor report when our clinical group has received strong feedback from nurses about other students. My confidence is beyond shattered and all I can think of is leaving..but I cannot let my family down after all of the sacrifices we have made the last three years. My interests have been high acute settings..so this is devistating.
  4. BSN89

    Need advise from working nurses, from a student

    I apologize for all of the typing errors. I am very frantic right now.
  5. Hello all, I am nearing graduating as a 5th semester student. I completed a rotation in an ICU and felt completely lost...I have not been able to see or experience a whole lot during my previous clinicals and was made to feel incompetent this week by the nurse I worked with. I misunderstood a direction she gave about having an IVPB..and she got so upset and became so indifferent to me...from this point on the entire day was a flop. Anything that I could mess up on, I did. I was just so anxious, I shook the whole day and could not think clearly. I said I would withdraw air out of the foley while removing it...I told her our pt had LR hanging when they actually had NS.....I had no idea what any of the meds were being given would do to our patients...I spike the bag she wanted for an on deck replacement because she handed me secondary tubing with the new bag (there was half a bag running) and I did not slice the threading anchoring out pts ART line to his skin correctly, so she had to cut it herself. There were man other little things as well. I heard her bashing me to a graduate nurse outside of my patients room...and when I came out she made a comment about common sense very aggressively and while looking directly at me. She also made a comment about talking to me instructor. All of my peers have told me they see me in a high acute setting...but I completely flopped. I think I am burnt out from running myself so hard for so many years now, surviving on three hours of sleep or less....that I'm struggling cognitively.....and with minimal energy, focus, and motivation. Its been a very intense program to juggle with a family and job. I just don't know what to do and feel like I am a lost cause, one of those who won't make it. I have been a 4.0 student academically but feel like a fish out of water clinically. I do not feel competent piecing this all together while hands on...and feel like nursing is just not for me. I do not have the tough skin...and apparently lack common sense. This is so disheartening to realize as a third year nursing student and realizing that I likely need to just remove myself from the program. I feel that I function at a fundamentals student level rather than a critical care student. I suddenly realize I have no idea what I am doing and do not feel able to handle all of the responsibilities a nurse does, and in a safe manner. I have been sick to my stomach and in tears non stop the last few days.
  6. BSN89

    12 and 1/2 hours with only 30 minutes for lunch

    This is basically how my day is even as an MA. I have zero time for any lunch and am lucky if I can use the bathroom once in an 8-9 hour time frame. In the last two months, I was able to eat lunch 1 time..We are required to take two 15 minute breaks but again, this is just not even possible. Healthcare is notoriously strenuous.
  7. BSN89

    Messed up in Clinical

    You all are beyond wonderful, I can not thank you enough for your responses. I feel such a great deal better and have had much better days thus far. Caring for patients in the bed side and hospital setting is incomparable to anything else and I could never think to peruse any other career now. Emergent, RN...yes I have now realized I need to keep my scores to myself, it is a sad realization but very necessary..I hear comments all of the time despite never really talking about my grades unless repeatedly asked. I have now refused to discuss any testing or over all grades. It did appear as though she was excited to discover the A student making an error and to promptly run to our instructor and the few friends she has. It is eye opening now, to get a better feel of the flow and what life on the floor is really like...I realized now it is not quite the detrimental error I initially thought..I legitimately thought my future was over. If anything, this experience has elicited a great deal of extra caution and vigilance, which is welcomed. Emma Jay, those errors are alarming, though I do see now how easily an error can occur so each step needs to be thoughtfully reflected on and planned out. I do not see how one could really move past such potentially harmful mistakes. Thank you for sharing. I am at the half way point and my instructor actually told me that I am very knowledgeable. I asked her if there was anything I could work to improve on and she was very kind and encouraging and told me I was doing well, so I am feeling much better about my prospects. Now to immerse myself in finals studying and finish strong!! There is even a bit of looming sadness that the end is near, I feel there is not enough learning time but remind myself this is Fundamentals, more will come next semester. Thanks again, everyone.
  8. BSN89

    Messed up in Clinical

    This response is of such immense reassurance, thank you TONS. All of the responses are, of course...but you are 100% right about everything. I am beyond thankful I posted here for guidance. I was treated for anxiety related issues some years ago and received therapy to work through a lifetime of trauma, though I was cleared by my provider and had enjoyed years with a healthy state of function. I am discouraged to realize I may be experiencing a bit of recurring symptoms, likely exacerbated by the strains and pressures of performing to the highest of my expectations, minimal sleep, poor nutrition, severe loss of family time, and pushing myself with minimal self-care. That fact that others around me are noticing a bit as well, is concerning. Though everyone jokes about my freak out mode, as it is often comical at times..it is difficult to deal with, as you can relate...I also take EVERYTHING to heart and I do not want it to effect my ability to work or my interpersonal relationships. I will be sure to seek out appropriate avenues of help in managing the anxiousness. Thank you again.
  9. BSN89

    Messed up in Clinical

    You make such valid points, thank you. I could not agree more, I intend to mention this when I speak with her..as it is beyond concerning that no one else seems to have the time to constantly hover over me..nit picking everything I do. Thank you for the assurance, as well!
  10. BSN89

    Messed up in Clinical

    Thank you all so very much for your words of reassurance and encouragement. You all make fantastic points...I guess what terrified me was my classmate stating I placed other patients in danger and my instructor did say if I were an employee at this hospital, I could have been terminated. So the fear of losing my place in this program devoured me for days..worried if I truly do have the ability to work as a nurse in a hospital setting, I wish so fiercely to work in psychiatric nursing. The fellow student does indeed have an overly concerning obsession with my every move and attempts to catch any potential lapse. She has attitude issues with most of our cohort and I have heard a great deal of her negativity and poor performance in lab from many others. So perhaps the opportunity to place herself above another is something that she thrives on, I'm not sure but intend to attempt to talk with her. I usually am no where near the passive type, just the thought of having any association with drama or confrontation worries me...I would never be able to handle losing this opportunity I have waited years and years for. The other girls in our group even approached her and asked why she behaved such a way with me, as everyone in the cohort knows how much I value this opportunity and will drive myself into the ground to accomplish. Many of you touch in on the appearance of my anxiousness in my post, as many of my peers do in class and clinical as well. I am high strung, it is a family trait and one that I struggle with. I am trying to get a handle on it ASAP, I know it is not a quality I would want a nurse caring for me to have...and as a few of you point out..is truly infectious to those around me. My husband has tried to talk sense into me as well about relaxing, I take every little error and obsessive over it..which is unhealthy, I know. This is something I am actively working to manage. I guess my fear stemmed from this blip with the gown, to the discrepancies in my time management and slight errors here and there in charting, which given that I have had only 4 clinical days...I know will not be perfect just yet. My fear is that I know that there is a point where an instructor feels that there is just too much for a student to be lacking in competence before they say, perhaps this is just not for you...so it is now to the point that I feel I can not have a single moment of falter in my performance as a student nurse or error from here on out in clinical..which is nerve-wracking. She is a fantastic instructor but certainly no nonsense. I do not want to teeter the line of passing to not passing by an accumulation of things.. I agree with the poster who mentions the 4.0 student doing well until transitioning into the clinical setting, then being a complete duck out of water. I feel among my entire clinical group, I am a crumbling mess who needs constant direction at clinical...which is a very difficult and unsettling position for me to be in, as I thrive in the classroom setting and every other en-devour I have set out prior to prenursing and nursing school. Everyone keeps asking if my charting is done, if I need help, I have been told our instructor asks them to make sure I am on to my charting..I do not see the others requiring as much guidance or talking with our instructor so just assume I am the only one having problems. I know the other student made the exact same error with the gown but again, she did not report herself..despite reporting me promptly before I could even exit the room. And I know she has told the entire cohort, in addition to my group peers knowing. I now feel like I will be the talk of the entire cohort as the only student to do something stupid, which is difficult to walk into this upcoming week. Well, it seems as though I have gone off again on a tangent of worry. I greatly appreciate everyone's advice and words of real life wisdom, I know I will find my way but the journey ahead truly feels arduous and insurmountable..I am sure some can mirror this state of apprehension and concern. I just wish there was a way to study clinical culture and logistics, though I know it is a real life, hands on experience. I am intending to seek CNA work this summer, if possible. Thank you again everyone. I will be sure to update the end of my rotation with a HOPEFULLY positive outcome.
  11. BSN89

    Messed up in Clinical

    I am hoping to find some guidance. I made a major error at my first clinical semester and have been obsessing since. The pt room (my 3rd day) had contact precautions, the 3 individuals I had seen going in and out of the room were not donned appropriately, the nurse I shadowed was not wearing even gloves...I went in without a gown on and only gloves but did not make contact as a fellow student caught me and yelled at me, in front of the patients rooms and nurses then promptly ran to our instructor before I could even doff and get to her. As soon as I had completed talking to my patient and doffed, I went straight to her for clarification. Apparently the pt room was "at will" contact as it was a VRE concern..regardless, I should have used my head and appropriately donned. For the life of me, I cannot believe I did not think this through and don correctly. I am terrified I am not doing well enough at clinical now and wont get through now. Is this error going to be the end for me? I am a 4.0 student and have only weeks left of this first semester. I am not up to par with the timeliness of my charting just yet either, as I am trying to work out the balance of time management with assessing, caring, vital taking, errand running, and helping in any way I can. I am just so distraught I have worked so hard to get to this point and seemingly stumble so bad and am holding back tears constantly. The other student degraded me in front of the instructor so badly and said I placed other patients in danger.. She follows me every where trying to catch me in errors and im just terrified of clinical now. The kicker is she made the exact same error the week before and a nurse told her to put a gown on, she never reported it to our instructor! She also went into the room without a gown on again after she tried to get me in trouble! I am just beside myself and am doubting I can get through this after these mistakes..the charting and missing placing a gown on before going into the contact precaution room, which I take full responsibility for..despite what I had seen others do just have be petrified I am not meeting expectations and am a liability and not up to standard. I am learning but do not understand how I could make such an error..I am usually immensely cautious. Any guidance would be so very appreciated, thank you. To add, I have approached my instructor to discuss my concerns..she told me she thinks I am placing too much pressure on myself..I am trying to be everywhere and do every thing perfectly, but that is just how I operate. She has not told me I have things that are detrimentally concerning but I fear with being the only one in the group she is aware of making errors..I fear I am in a compromised spot for passing. The fear I have is indescribable and I know it is effecting my clinical experience. I want so badly to do well.

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