jl18

I'm a new grad nurse and it was my second day of work and I was super overwhelmed with the patient load I had. I had a few ortho pts who would ask for pain medications around the clock. And I was barely finishing my tasks on time. I basically overmedicated my one pt with Narcs because she was always in a 7 or 8/10 pain and was arousable and answered questions each time I gave her meds but I didn't do vitals each time I gave her narcs. My preceptor taught me to always take vitals but I was in such a rush to keep up with my tasks that I didn't do it and my ancillary was also swamped with their own tasks as well. She basically passed out when it's was change of shift and became unarousable when I came in to see her and had asystole for 7 sec and we had to call RRT on her. She woke up eventually and was lethargic and went to a step down unit for close monitoring but I don't want to show my face to work anymore and I feel like I lost everyone's trust and I'm nervous that I'm going to get written up, fired, or even lose my license....if anyone has experienced something similar to this? I feel like **** after what happened and I feel like I should quit my job before any other mistakes occur..

Thank You everyone for the tips and advice! I really feel the love and support. Ill keep doing my best each day.

Hi everyone, I am a new grad and I graduated in December 2016 with my BSN (with honors) and got my first interview and was hired at a well-known hospital the day after I pass my NCLEX. However, I had no prior experience before I got into nursing school. The only nursing experience I had were clinicals. Throughout nursing school, I made so many friends and I loved the intellectual challenge and I looked forward to clinical because I got to see some of my friends and I loved taking care of my patients. At the end of each clinical, I would always get a "thank you" or "you're going to become a great nurse" from my patients and it always boosted my confidence and motivation to become a nurse. Now that I have been working for about 2-3 months and close to finishing my orientation, I dread coming to work and I am always scared on the job. I feel like I am not the bubbly, happy person I used to be. When I am on the job I feel like I forgot everything I was taught in school. I am on a heavy telemetry unit and get 6-7 pts who are confused, sundowns, or coming back from surgery and I feel defeated after each shift. My medications would always be late, my reports would be unorganized and confusing and I would forget important information because there was so much stuff that happened. I would make mistakes on documentation because of the constant pressure of finishing everything quickly. I also feel like I don't know my patients. I don't know what I would do without my preceptor and I am terrified to take care of these patients and even take responsibility for their lives on my own. I feel like I would freak out if any of my patient codes or won't even know what to do if my patient codes. In addition, there was a day when I was giving meds, I stepped out of my patient's room and I overheard the someone saying "how did anyone let this girl graduate nursing school? How did she even pass the boards?" I didn't let that get to me the rest of the shift, and I did the best I could for every one of my patients and stayed positive and always attended to their needs with a smile. I feel so overwhelmed, lost, alone, confused, and I try to stay positive and tell myself that things will get better and my skills will improve, but I am terrified that I will not become a medically safe nurse because of these feelings that I have. I am also terrified that I will lose this job and won't be able to find any other jobs because I am so new with very little experience. I'm not sure if I should endure this hardship and pray that I survive for a year until I gain some experience and transfer somewhere else (to another unit, hospital, office, practice, etc.) or if I should just give up on nursing all together and choose a different career.