Sorry for the rant in advance, I just need a knowledgeable sounding board.
My family has always turned to me (like every other nurse) for medical issues. My uncle was diagnosed Stage 4 Lymphoma in Jan. Hgb below 100, hypercalcemia, weak and comprimised. His family is in complete denial with diagnosis, he's still a FC. Two weeks ago he finished his last round (6 total) of chemo. Extreme weakness, Hgb still in his boots...but I know this is expected...they expect him to be at the cottage this weekend.
Fast forward to last Thurs., diagnosis of pneumonia- feeding tube inserted, intubated and sedated. Family still in denial, pt remains FC in ICU.
This morning I received a call asking what I thought of them doing a bronchoscopy to isolate the bacteria in his lungs to use a more effective antibiotic. I do not agree with their efforts, although I understand why they are pulling out all of the stops.
I guess my question is, how do you help people understand just because we can doesn't mean we should? I have no issue working through this with my hospital pt's but this is family and I feel the need to tread a little lighter. I've attempted to explain what happens in a code, it's not like TV. I've asked what my uncle wants for end of life care, if any arrangements have been discussed. This has always ended up in my cousins being hysterical and my aunt saying it's not time for that yet.
I feel like I'm failing them and him. Any advice would help my heart.