I uploaded an essay before and all were telling me how terrible I wrote my essay. This is a new revised essay, I got assistance of my sister. Please be brutally honest with my essay. Thank you
Why I want to be a nurse?
In my opinion, nursing is a field where professionals never stop learning. The substantial challenges associated with the profession and the fact that it is highly demanding combine to make it the career that I have always admired. Creating a positive impression in healthcare delivery is my passion. This influenced my decision to become a nurse since the career guarantees the job satisfaction that I have always anticipated.
I developed the passion for nursing as a child after facing the obligation to take care of my ailing grandmother. Even though my mother handled most of the responsibilities, she gave me the first-hand experience in taking care of a sick person. The first encounter elicited the desire to take care of sick individuals in the society. The obsession led me to volunteer at a hospital in the nursing department where I gained further experience in the nursing practice.The passion was fueled by the understanding that nurses are one of the professionals that can make a difference in the society. My selflessness and commitment towards improving the lives of other individuals also prompted the additional interest in the nursing profession. I now feel that this is the right time for me to embrace the career fully and lighten the hearts of the sick individuals and their families by bringing them cheer and hope. Nurses carry the burden of the healthcare experience. They are responsible for the way individuals and families are treated in healthcare facilities. Cheering the sick and their families leave a permanent impression that concurs perfectly with my commitment and selflessness in improving the health of individuals. About the reputation of your institution, I believe that I will become the professional nurse that I have always desired.
Dec 28, '17
your essay is wonderful! It truly captured my attention. It is personal, ambitious, and compassionate.
I am not sure why you would have gotten such bad reviews previously, unless your sister made major changes.
Either way, it's great! Good Luck!
Dec 29, '17
Thank you, she told me that my ideas were scattered around and didn't really follow essay writing rules.
Dec 29, '17
"About the reputation of your institution, I believe that I will become the professional nurse that I have always desired". I am confused on this one.
Dec 29, '17
Like when I study at their school I don't want to not become a nurse right . I put that together in that sentence.
Dec 31, '17
I was also confused with the last sentence, but the rest is well written. Good job!
Write from your heart and forget about rules. Nice job.
Last edit by summer2018 on Jan 4
: Reason: oops, posted in the wrong place, sorry.
Forgetting about the rules is the perfect recipe for failure. Write from the heart and then edit, edit, edit until it meets established standards.
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