Pre-nursing student

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Oct 14, 2011

I had several 40-50 year olds in my nursing class :) Has he said WHY he doesn't want you to go into nursing? :confused:

Granted, the market isn't great- but even with that, there have to be some nurses. Are you going straight BSN, or doing and ADN , then finish the BSN later?

Good luck :)

happyland · Oct 14, 2011

I plan to do the ADN and do the BSN later . He doesn't want me to do the RN become he says my kids and the family will suffer. he will not support me if i choose this route. He basically thinks that if i become a nurse that i will not fulfill my wifely duties and that being a nurse is not a family oriented type of job. I tried to reason with him but he has made up this mind. i don't know. It's hard to be around someone who has negative things to say and is trying be to discouraging.

jennys77 · Oct 14, 2011

You don't want to regret NOT being a nurse because you decided not to do it because someone wouldn't support you. Nursing is a path that needs to be supported by your entire family, and sorry to say, those families that aren't supported can fall apart. There are threads on this board about divorce due to unsupportive husbands. Nursing school affects the whole family. It's funny that he says it's not a family oriented job. My mom was a nurse, and she took care of her family more than she would have had she not been a nurse because she was great at getting us healthy again when anything was wrong. is it because women are supposed to stay home? GAG.

My husband is supportive. I supported him through his MBA and now he is supporting me through nursing. I am in my last semester of pre-reqs. I am able to go to class/study as I need to thanks to his support. And there is still tension because he makes me late to class sometimes when he gets home late from work. We have three kids, 2 are 2 and younger, so it's tough.

If your husband isn't going to support it, how will you pay for any of it? Who will watch your kids? Not going into nursing would not be an option for me because I feel so compelled to be a nurse. You should really try to get him on your side now. Try to have him see it from your point of view. My husband knows I would feel empty inside if I didn't become a nurse, and he knows I feel like I am wasting my time each second that I am not a nurse yet.

SquishyRN, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2011

23 is not too old at all! Especially in nursing. Maybe it's b/c I'm taking my pre-reqs at a CC, but I see far more second-careerers and second-bachelor's going into nursing than fresh out of high school 18-yr olds.

Why does he think nursing is not a family oriented job? From what I have seen in my own family and other families I know that nursing is one of the best jobs to be able to spend lots of quality time with the kids. By working noc shifts, moms I know have still had the time to take their kids to school, sleep while they're at school, and pick them up after school and spend quality time for dinner before they go to work. Not much is missed at home since the kids are mostly sleeping while they're at work. And it's not like that's the routine everyday since they work only 3 days a week for 12 hr shifts. Honestly, that type of schedule sounds more family-oriented than a regular 9-5 to me.

hope4now · Oct 14, 2011

i think nursing is a family oriented job because you can make decent money while working part-time. you could, in a non-confrontational way, suggest to your husband that you need to have a way to support yourself and the kids if anything should happen to him. also, find out if there are some fears that are driving his decision. is he worried that you will "meet someone else"? a lot of men have that fear.

however, jennys77 has a good point. if your husband really feels strongly that you should not go to school, who is going to stay with the kids? i'm not saying that you should have to suffer, but neither should the kids. maybe you should wait until they are a little older and in school to pursue your goal of nursing school. don't let age be too much of a hurdle...you have many years ahead of you...and they are good years!! it isn't all about being young...it's about starting down a career path at a time that is right for you and your family. best of luck to you!!

happyland · Oct 14, 2011

Thanks for all the supporting feedbacks. my three year old will be staring preschool and my mom is willing to help with my daughter while i am in school. I'm just really sad by the fact that he will not be by my side while i pursue this path. it's a controlling issue for him, if he doesn't like it then he doesn't want me to do it that is reason.

AliF · Oct 14, 2011

I think you need to have a heart to heart with your husband. It's important that you both support each other.

And I do think nursing can be a family oriented career- many places you can do three, twelve hour shifts to be full time. Then you're home the other 4 days! Or there's school nurses, who just work during the same hours your kids are in school.

And 23 is YOUNG. So young! You have most of your working years still ahead of you. If you want it, don't let him stop you. Good luck!

loriangel14, RN · Oct 14, 2011

You need to follow your heart.I was in a marriage with a controlling person and it held me back for years.I went to school to become a nurse after we split up.I was 38.Please open your eyes and see that he truly loved you he would support your dreams, not try to stomp them out.No human being has the right to do that to another, married or not.

hope4now · Oct 14, 2011

if you *know* that your husband has control-issues and you have support from other people, then go to school!

i think it is important to understand his reasons for asking you to stay at home. but control is not a reason...control is irrational. if that is what is happening, then don't let him stop you. in fact, i think it is important to struggle against that type of behavior.